I know a blogger who would be very interested in this topic but unfortunately she is too busy finishing her thesis at the moment.
I overheard this conversation on the bus recently. The background to this conversation is that a new playgroup has just been opened in our compound. The previous one was run by a British ladies and the current one is by a Canadian of Middle Eastern origin.
Some of the ladies were discussing if they would or would not send their child to the play group. One lady said that her child is only one and a half years old and therefore would not be able to learn anything. She said she would send her daughter when the daughter is three or four years old. "When we were young we didn't have all this but look at us now. We are OK. So why should we send our children to all this things? Why must we make them study early? They should just relax."
Another lady replied, "Well we want out children to be better than us."
I remember Atenah telling me about some cultures that don't stimulate their child before the age of two because they do not believe that the child would understand.
And I have seen many Malay families here who do not see the importance of sending their children to kindergarten. Also Arab news published a statistic that less than 8% of children in this kingdom go to kindergarten at all.
Very different from the Europeans. They send their children to the playgroups as soon as the play group would take them. They feel that it is very important for their children to be socialized especially at a young age. My German neighbour insist on meeting twice a week if not more often so the children could play together.
And my view? I personally have seen how the Little One has benefit from the social interactions with other children and other adults. And her experiences and exposure she had when we went to vacation recently has made her more aware of her surroundings. But she is inherently a very curoius child who seek social interaction. She would wave or seek attention of other children who passes by, or have I taught her that way?
Nature or nurture?
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Not so current affairs
Due to the time difference between here and the UK, I actually stayed up to find out who was to be evicted. Jade Goody or Shilpa Shetty.
For those of you who don't know who either one of them are, do not worry. They are just contestants of the Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 4. I was introduced to Jade (not personally) when she was a contestant in Big Brother many years ago which in turn made Jade (somewhat of) a household name in the UK. Jade, in my opinion, is one of those people who made people feel much better of themselves. Her famous quotes include "East Angular? Isn't that abroad?" and she even put "minging" in the English dictionary. [ East Anglia and minging supposed to mean nasty or ugly.]
Shilpa, well I am not familiar with her at all because I do not watch Bollywood movies but she is definitely famous in India and has many loyal fans. But from what I have seen of her on Big Brother, she is very beautiful, very sexy, has curves in the right places that women want, wears beautiful clothes and is very elegant. More importantly she was very graceful and very regal in face of Jade Goody when they were arguing about 3 chicken cubes.
But what's more intriguing for me was how the issue of bullying and racism on Big Brother gaines a lot of media attention, and worse still, it became "Breaking News" on both BBC and CNN when they announced that Jade Goody was evicted from the Big Brother House.
Is it because the girl who is bullied is a very pretty girl that got the media attention? Or perhaps it was because Gordon Brown chose the wrong time to visit India? Whatever it was, it was a change indeed to have a racism issue brought out under the spotlight by the media, especially so in Britian.
What will happen next to Big Brother? I won't know because I am back here. But I must say I was glad to have been able to watch Big Brother and the argument on TV.
For those of you who don't know who either one of them are, do not worry. They are just contestants of the Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 4. I was introduced to Jade (not personally) when she was a contestant in Big Brother many years ago which in turn made Jade (somewhat of) a household name in the UK. Jade, in my opinion, is one of those people who made people feel much better of themselves. Her famous quotes include "East Angular? Isn't that abroad?" and she even put "minging" in the English dictionary. [ East Anglia and minging supposed to mean nasty or ugly.]
Shilpa, well I am not familiar with her at all because I do not watch Bollywood movies but she is definitely famous in India and has many loyal fans. But from what I have seen of her on Big Brother, she is very beautiful, very sexy, has curves in the right places that women want, wears beautiful clothes and is very elegant. More importantly she was very graceful and very regal in face of Jade Goody when they were arguing about 3 chicken cubes.
But what's more intriguing for me was how the issue of bullying and racism on Big Brother gaines a lot of media attention, and worse still, it became "Breaking News" on both BBC and CNN when they announced that Jade Goody was evicted from the Big Brother House.
Is it because the girl who is bullied is a very pretty girl that got the media attention? Or perhaps it was because Gordon Brown chose the wrong time to visit India? Whatever it was, it was a change indeed to have a racism issue brought out under the spotlight by the media, especially so in Britian.
What will happen next to Big Brother? I won't know because I am back here. But I must say I was glad to have been able to watch Big Brother and the argument on TV.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Brought the rain back with us
The weather was horrendouesly cold. Even colder than London. It was 10 oC when we landed and it was 12oC in London. And it rained and rained from late night and almost the whole day.
It rained every single day in Brussels and almost everyday except two when we were in the UK. On one day we went to Leeds Castle and on the other day we went to Harrods I think.
Its funny how we call this place home. The Little One was so excited when she saw her toys again. Almost immediately she went to her walker (not that round thing she sits in but rather the thing that a baby pushes to aid her to walk) and pushed it round the living room. She sat happily on her high chair and surprise surprise she climbed the stairs all the way up all my herself. This is a huge milestone for her and for us as well. It meant that we had to fit in gates at the bottom and at the top of the stairs as well.
As for the flight home I must give top marks for Swiss Air. I can tell you that flying on Economy on Swiss Air is 10 times better than flying for Saudia Airlines. We flew on Saudia Airlines from here to KL on business because we thought we needed the extra space and comfort as it was The Little One's first flight. And what did we get? Not much extra space (in fact it was so cramped when the inconsiderate guy in front reclined his seat we hardly had any space) and absolutely no service! On Saudia when we asked the stewardess to help us she replied with "Sorry we are not allowed to help."
Now Swiss Air is a different class of airline altogether! We were the last ones into the aeroplane because (a) our flight was delayed for over an hour due to the terrible weather at Heathrow. We almost thought that we'd miss our conecting flight. (b) The pushchair came out late from the aircraft even though we were one of the first few who rushed out of the plane in anticipation of the 20 mins we have left before our connecting flight takes off and that it would take about 20 mins from terminal A to terminal E where the next plane would take off.
But as we got into the Swiss Air flight we were greeted with all smiles. Even the ground staff who found us at the top of the escalators after the security was sweet. He told us that we needn't rush and that it was OK. Immediately when we stepped into the aircraft we were greeted with smiles and told that one of the stewardesses will not only show us to our seats but also help us with our bags! And ontop of that they reserved one whole row of the middle section (4 seats!!!) at the bulkhead row for us! Boy it was roomy! My legs could stretch and The Little One didn't get claustoprobic at all! (On Saudia we didn't get a basinet or a child seat belt!! Seat Belt whats That?!) On Swiss air they even prepared a bib, a handpuppet, a sticker book and a Disney baby nappy on the seat with lots of pillows and a blanket. All for The Little One. And they were constantly playing with her, waving, smiling and asking if she wanted apple juice etc!
I have since decided that its not about the class you travel in but the Airline whom you travel with. Service on Saudia is nonexistence but on Swiss Air the service felt very genuine. Top marks to the Swiss Air staff on LX228! I might even write a letter to them commending them on their wonderful service!
We almost thought that our baggage didn't make it with us because of the short connection but horay horaay our bags did surface on top of the conveyor belt. But our Quinny Zapp didn't. I had an inkling that it might happen and even suggested to my beloved to bring the buggy in with us but because we rushed in the staff told him to leave the Quinny Zapp outside. The thing with the Quinny Zapp is, its so small when its folded and comes in a nifty back that those not familiar with it won't know that its a buggy. We shall wait and see when the Quinny show up.
And before we reached home we asked the driver to stop at the nearby Kabsah place to buy a chicken and some rice which we enjoyed for both last night dinner and today's lunch.
I have to say that the trip was expensive because of the current horrendous exchange. I came back with 5 pairs of shoes (wanted to buy more but no more baggage space), a blue Storksak bag, lots of shopping bags as gifts and boxes of Pierre Marcolini chocolates. I left quite a lot behind because we didn't have the space or the weight allowance. I purposely used two of our smaller bags rather than the big bag because we knew Swiss Air is rather strict with excess baggage. I knew we were allowed 23kg each and the baby 10 kg and guess what our scale read during check-in? 55.4kg! Hah! Perhaps I could have fitted in another book or two but I could hardly zipp up all three bags!
The trip has made me feel energized. With batteries charged I hope they will be better days to come.
And The Little One? I think the trip has done her a world of good! In just three weeks we has grown so much! She is suddenly babbling more. She is very smiley and can make animal sounds. She really did sound like a hungry lion when she wanted some chicken for dinner last night. She asked to be read to a lot. Was it the fresh air? Was it the exposure? Was it the people or the location or the food she tasted? Whatever or whichever it was the trip has given her a lot of good! And most of all she doesn't cry as much when we put her in her car seat!
Isn't this a good excuse to go on more trips?
It rained every single day in Brussels and almost everyday except two when we were in the UK. On one day we went to Leeds Castle and on the other day we went to Harrods I think.
Its funny how we call this place home. The Little One was so excited when she saw her toys again. Almost immediately she went to her walker (not that round thing she sits in but rather the thing that a baby pushes to aid her to walk) and pushed it round the living room. She sat happily on her high chair and surprise surprise she climbed the stairs all the way up all my herself. This is a huge milestone for her and for us as well. It meant that we had to fit in gates at the bottom and at the top of the stairs as well.
As for the flight home I must give top marks for Swiss Air. I can tell you that flying on Economy on Swiss Air is 10 times better than flying for Saudia Airlines. We flew on Saudia Airlines from here to KL on business because we thought we needed the extra space and comfort as it was The Little One's first flight. And what did we get? Not much extra space (in fact it was so cramped when the inconsiderate guy in front reclined his seat we hardly had any space) and absolutely no service! On Saudia when we asked the stewardess to help us she replied with "Sorry we are not allowed to help."
Now Swiss Air is a different class of airline altogether! We were the last ones into the aeroplane because (a) our flight was delayed for over an hour due to the terrible weather at Heathrow. We almost thought that we'd miss our conecting flight. (b) The pushchair came out late from the aircraft even though we were one of the first few who rushed out of the plane in anticipation of the 20 mins we have left before our connecting flight takes off and that it would take about 20 mins from terminal A to terminal E where the next plane would take off.
But as we got into the Swiss Air flight we were greeted with all smiles. Even the ground staff who found us at the top of the escalators after the security was sweet. He told us that we needn't rush and that it was OK. Immediately when we stepped into the aircraft we were greeted with smiles and told that one of the stewardesses will not only show us to our seats but also help us with our bags! And ontop of that they reserved one whole row of the middle section (4 seats!!!) at the bulkhead row for us! Boy it was roomy! My legs could stretch and The Little One didn't get claustoprobic at all! (On Saudia we didn't get a basinet or a child seat belt!! Seat Belt whats That?!) On Swiss air they even prepared a bib, a handpuppet, a sticker book and a Disney baby nappy on the seat with lots of pillows and a blanket. All for The Little One. And they were constantly playing with her, waving, smiling and asking if she wanted apple juice etc!
I have since decided that its not about the class you travel in but the Airline whom you travel with. Service on Saudia is nonexistence but on Swiss Air the service felt very genuine. Top marks to the Swiss Air staff on LX228! I might even write a letter to them commending them on their wonderful service!
We almost thought that our baggage didn't make it with us because of the short connection but horay horaay our bags did surface on top of the conveyor belt. But our Quinny Zapp didn't. I had an inkling that it might happen and even suggested to my beloved to bring the buggy in with us but because we rushed in the staff told him to leave the Quinny Zapp outside. The thing with the Quinny Zapp is, its so small when its folded and comes in a nifty back that those not familiar with it won't know that its a buggy. We shall wait and see when the Quinny show up.
And before we reached home we asked the driver to stop at the nearby Kabsah place to buy a chicken and some rice which we enjoyed for both last night dinner and today's lunch.
I have to say that the trip was expensive because of the current horrendous exchange. I came back with 5 pairs of shoes (wanted to buy more but no more baggage space), a blue Storksak bag, lots of shopping bags as gifts and boxes of Pierre Marcolini chocolates. I left quite a lot behind because we didn't have the space or the weight allowance. I purposely used two of our smaller bags rather than the big bag because we knew Swiss Air is rather strict with excess baggage. I knew we were allowed 23kg each and the baby 10 kg and guess what our scale read during check-in? 55.4kg! Hah! Perhaps I could have fitted in another book or two but I could hardly zipp up all three bags!
The trip has made me feel energized. With batteries charged I hope they will be better days to come.
And The Little One? I think the trip has done her a world of good! In just three weeks we has grown so much! She is suddenly babbling more. She is very smiley and can make animal sounds. She really did sound like a hungry lion when she wanted some chicken for dinner last night. She asked to be read to a lot. Was it the fresh air? Was it the exposure? Was it the people or the location or the food she tasted? Whatever or whichever it was the trip has given her a lot of good! And most of all she doesn't cry as much when we put her in her car seat!
Isn't this a good excuse to go on more trips?
Monday, January 15, 2007
Of my Ecco shoes and Leeds Castle
I opened the shoe cupboard and smiled when I saw my old pair of Ecco shoes. Nice sturdy walking shoes. I bought them at one of the discount factory outlets of course. I don't believe in paying retail prices for anything. These shoes, I wore them last on my backpacking trip. My situation has changed. My role has changed. My body has changed. But the shoes are still there and they feel very much the same. I had almost bought a new pair of walking shoes to come back here, now I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I kept the pair and didn't send them to the charity shop or the shoe bank.
London however is changing. One of the things that was most noticeable for me was how much more expensive everything is. The cost of travel cards have gone up. Your money doesn't really go very far here, especially not with the current exchange rate.
Today was the first day we saw any sunlight. I almost spent the day at home watching the re-runs of celebrity Big Brother. I haven't seen Big Brother for a long time you know! And guess what Jade is back in the house doing her old thing. But luckily he dragged us out to Leeds Castle. I had thought that Leeds Castle would be in Leeds. But no, its in Kent, good, old green Kent.
I don't know what it is but the sight of green grass all round and the smell of fresh air was just making me heady. The headache I had in the car ride simply disappeared when we stepped into the grounds of Leeds Castle. What is there to do there you wonder? Well I like feeding the ducks and the swans. I could just watch them for hours and hours feeding on every bit and morsel of stale bread I brought. Now I remember what I missed so much about being here, being amongst the greenery.
We did have tea with scones and clotted cream. Yums! I had wanted to get some fish and chips but they ran out of those. Just tea and puddings. I like it at their restaurant, the staff friendly and cheerful, and the patrons relaxed and often smiling.
I know I am odd. But I actually adore the cold, love the grey and happy in the rain. The grey and the wet don't bother me as much. Perhaps thats why the people are so grumpy over there, the heat just melt your brain! But it was sunny today and the view was breathtaking. Even though the branches were bare but the trees are all still there, standing proudly in the sun.
I have 3 more days to wear the shoes before I leave them here again. I don't have the inclination nor the luggage space to bring the shoes back with me. I made lots of good memories with those shoes, and I hope I get to come back to them more often.
London however is changing. One of the things that was most noticeable for me was how much more expensive everything is. The cost of travel cards have gone up. Your money doesn't really go very far here, especially not with the current exchange rate.
Today was the first day we saw any sunlight. I almost spent the day at home watching the re-runs of celebrity Big Brother. I haven't seen Big Brother for a long time you know! And guess what Jade is back in the house doing her old thing. But luckily he dragged us out to Leeds Castle. I had thought that Leeds Castle would be in Leeds. But no, its in Kent, good, old green Kent.
I don't know what it is but the sight of green grass all round and the smell of fresh air was just making me heady. The headache I had in the car ride simply disappeared when we stepped into the grounds of Leeds Castle. What is there to do there you wonder? Well I like feeding the ducks and the swans. I could just watch them for hours and hours feeding on every bit and morsel of stale bread I brought. Now I remember what I missed so much about being here, being amongst the greenery.
We did have tea with scones and clotted cream. Yums! I had wanted to get some fish and chips but they ran out of those. Just tea and puddings. I like it at their restaurant, the staff friendly and cheerful, and the patrons relaxed and often smiling.
I know I am odd. But I actually adore the cold, love the grey and happy in the rain. The grey and the wet don't bother me as much. Perhaps thats why the people are so grumpy over there, the heat just melt your brain! But it was sunny today and the view was breathtaking. Even though the branches were bare but the trees are all still there, standing proudly in the sun.
I have 3 more days to wear the shoes before I leave them here again. I don't have the inclination nor the luggage space to bring the shoes back with me. I made lots of good memories with those shoes, and I hope I get to come back to them more often.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Lost and found
Lost
1.A child's navy blue scarf. Bought before the trip from a man who tried to get me to introduce some Mal@ysian or Ind0nesian woman to him. I don't understand much Ar@bic but I understood what he was saying. Don't think I'll go back there to buy back the scarf.
2. A very nice right hand side leather glove, bought while backpacking in Florence. Lost it someplace between the bus stop square and/or the bus back to the main train station in Brugge. Between pacifying a crying baby and feeding her apple compote.
Would love to go back to that shop in Florence but I don't think they'd have my glove at the same price again.
3. All sense of style. With biscuit crumbs on my jacket, in my pocket and on my scarve. I look like a bag lady with a bag filled with all sort of things I need to potter about when travelling with a 1 year old.
4.A Humprey Corner's stripy hat. Lost it in London somewhere. Was very sure it was in my coat jacket. Actually I even suspect that it could have been pickpocketed. I am not even sure if we took any pictures of The Little One wearing it. Already bought a replacement pink hat with strings to tie it under her chin.
Found
1. Smiles on peoples' faces when The Little One waves to them or when she smiles at them. People are constantly trying to amuse her either by playing peek-a-bo or waving to her.
2.The London zoo after walking over an hour around Regents Park. We decided to stop at Bakerloo Street Station and walk to the zoo, but kept on going in circles before finding the zoo!
3.Kakteh, ArtFadzil and MelayudiLondon at Mawar. Actually we arranged to meet Kakteh there. We chatted over kuay teow goreng, gula melaka, roti canai, cucur udang, teh tarik and carrotapple juice. The music was fabulous as well.
4. That life has really and truly changed since we have The Little One.
1.A child's navy blue scarf. Bought before the trip from a man who tried to get me to introduce some Mal@ysian or Ind0nesian woman to him. I don't understand much Ar@bic but I understood what he was saying. Don't think I'll go back there to buy back the scarf.
2. A very nice right hand side leather glove, bought while backpacking in Florence. Lost it someplace between the bus stop square and/or the bus back to the main train station in Brugge. Between pacifying a crying baby and feeding her apple compote.
Would love to go back to that shop in Florence but I don't think they'd have my glove at the same price again.
3. All sense of style. With biscuit crumbs on my jacket, in my pocket and on my scarve. I look like a bag lady with a bag filled with all sort of things I need to potter about when travelling with a 1 year old.
4.A Humprey Corner's stripy hat. Lost it in London somewhere. Was very sure it was in my coat jacket. Actually I even suspect that it could have been pickpocketed. I am not even sure if we took any pictures of The Little One wearing it. Already bought a replacement pink hat with strings to tie it under her chin.
Found
1. Smiles on peoples' faces when The Little One waves to them or when she smiles at them. People are constantly trying to amuse her either by playing peek-a-bo or waving to her.
2.The London zoo after walking over an hour around Regents Park. We decided to stop at Bakerloo Street Station and walk to the zoo, but kept on going in circles before finding the zoo!
3.Kakteh, ArtFadzil and MelayudiLondon at Mawar. Actually we arranged to meet Kakteh there. We chatted over kuay teow goreng, gula melaka, roti canai, cucur udang, teh tarik and carrotapple juice. The music was fabulous as well.
4. That life has really and truly changed since we have The Little One.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Brrrrrr and Uhuk-uhuk
Brussels was much colder than London. Thank god we got her a snowsuit to wear but the little one as usual, hates being covered up. She refused to wear her hat and we lost her new scarf on the plane. The rain followed us everywhere we went. Even to Belgium!
As we walked up the street towards our hotel, we were stopped by an old lady. Once again, I didn't understand what she meant except I think she was scolding me in French for not keeping my baby warm enough! She tried in vain to put The Little One's mitts on, she tried in vain to zip The Little One up.
"Ooo La La........." followed by words I didn't understand and then "Uhuk uhuk!" as she feigned a fake cough.
I showed her The Little One's hat and even put it on The Little One's head only to be quickly taken off by The Little One. She realised that this little missy born in the middle east out of belacan eating parents didn't like hats, mitts or scarves of any sort.
The kindly old lady gave The Little One a kiss on her cheek and we said good bye.
My Dear Little One, life is so different travelling with you. The same roads we used to roam are no longer the same with you in our arms. In some cases, the roads became better! You brought smiles to the faces of strangers, smiles which I may not have been able to see have you not been with us.
May you lead a life full of smiles and be surrounded with people who love you always.
As we walked up the street towards our hotel, we were stopped by an old lady. Once again, I didn't understand what she meant except I think she was scolding me in French for not keeping my baby warm enough! She tried in vain to put The Little One's mitts on, she tried in vain to zip The Little One up.
"Ooo La La........." followed by words I didn't understand and then "Uhuk uhuk!" as she feigned a fake cough.
I showed her The Little One's hat and even put it on The Little One's head only to be quickly taken off by The Little One. She realised that this little missy born in the middle east out of belacan eating parents didn't like hats, mitts or scarves of any sort.
The kindly old lady gave The Little One a kiss on her cheek and we said good bye.
My Dear Little One, life is so different travelling with you. The same roads we used to roam are no longer the same with you in our arms. In some cases, the roads became better! You brought smiles to the faces of strangers, smiles which I may not have been able to see have you not been with us.
May you lead a life full of smiles and be surrounded with people who love you always.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Something New and something Old
Its good to feel back at home again. I realised that I had left behind more than I thought I did. I thought time would have brought distance between me and this place, but everything came flooding back pretty quickly.
One of the first things I did? Walked right into M&S and bought myself 3 salads. Yes 3! Not 1 or 2 but 3! My favourite new potato salad, salad nicoise and some salad with cherry tomatoes. I realised how much of a foody I am as I plonked 2 tubs of soup (spicy parsnip and brocolli with blue stilton) and 2 dishes of pre-prepared fish, one salmon and the other trout. I could not wait to get home. My comfort food. I have been so deprived in the vegetable and fish front.
And the rain well, I should have known better. But the rain didn't bother me although the cold did. Dispite wearing thermals and socks my toes were quickly bitten by the cold.
The walk to the high street was much harder than before. I'm just so out of practice. I got winded in no time at all.
And the little one? Those eyes were taking everything in. It must be different to see people wearing colourful clothes and smiling faces engaging her. She got so used to getting attention that she even calls out to passer-bys with her, "Ehh! Ehh!"
Happy Birthday little one. May you lead an enchanted life, full of pleasant surprises, abundance and great wealth. May you always be happy and be loved by all around you.
One of the first things I did? Walked right into M&S and bought myself 3 salads. Yes 3! Not 1 or 2 but 3! My favourite new potato salad, salad nicoise and some salad with cherry tomatoes. I realised how much of a foody I am as I plonked 2 tubs of soup (spicy parsnip and brocolli with blue stilton) and 2 dishes of pre-prepared fish, one salmon and the other trout. I could not wait to get home. My comfort food. I have been so deprived in the vegetable and fish front.
And the rain well, I should have known better. But the rain didn't bother me although the cold did. Dispite wearing thermals and socks my toes were quickly bitten by the cold.
The walk to the high street was much harder than before. I'm just so out of practice. I got winded in no time at all.
And the little one? Those eyes were taking everything in. It must be different to see people wearing colourful clothes and smiling faces engaging her. She got so used to getting attention that she even calls out to passer-bys with her, "Ehh! Ehh!"
Happy Birthday little one. May you lead an enchanted life, full of pleasant surprises, abundance and great wealth. May you always be happy and be loved by all around you.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Food in mouth Disease
Ok I have to say I never really know how to handle these sort of issues. So I have to throw it out to you guys, when push comes to shove, when you hear unpleasant things about someone with whom you are close with, do you tell them about what you heard or do you keep it to yourself?
The Xs are the sweetest couple I’ve ever met. They are so kind, so outgoing and so sporting that we found it very easy to hang out with them.
So a few month ago Mrs X went for vacation back in Malaysia without Mr X. And then suddenly a Mr W told us, “I heard a rumour that Mr X has something going on with another woman.”
Confidently we told Mr W, “I don’t think so! Perhaps you thought wrong! Perhaps it someone else? I don’t think its him surely. I’ve been around them and I don’t think he would do that sort of thing.”
Mr W kept it at that but Mrs W told us a story of seeing a certain Ms N, recently divorced asking Mr X to put a bracelet on her. Now I think nothing of that because Mrs X was the one selling the bracelet.
Here comes the foot in mouth part. I don’t know what got into me. After keeping this conversation to myself for months and months I decided to tell Mrs X about the conversation.
In my defence, for me, if anything of that sort was said about me or my beloved to my close friends, I hope they will tell me what they heard. At least so I know who my real friends are and who my enemies are. What I really can’t stand are people who pretend to be nice to me while they spread nasty things about me behind my back. Atleast I know with whom I should stay away from or be careful with.
Mrs X took the conversation well when she was talking with me but I now realize that perhaps what I had told her has affected her more than I thought it would. I had an alarming call from Mr X who told nicely told me please to close this topic and he shared with me, whom he thought the originator of the rumour.
I have to say that I am shocked but not too surprised. But most of all it pains me to hear that the Xs are in pain. Luckily the Ws are no longer here.
I know that its often about the delivery but I’m not sure if I did well on the delivery or not. My intentions were good but I also realize that the road to hell is often paved with good intentions.
May Allah grant the Xs strength and perseverance through this difficult time and may they become stronger.
And perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut next time? I don't know what got into me, too much desert air made me dizzy perhaps?
The Xs are the sweetest couple I’ve ever met. They are so kind, so outgoing and so sporting that we found it very easy to hang out with them.
So a few month ago Mrs X went for vacation back in Malaysia without Mr X. And then suddenly a Mr W told us, “I heard a rumour that Mr X has something going on with another woman.”
Confidently we told Mr W, “I don’t think so! Perhaps you thought wrong! Perhaps it someone else? I don’t think its him surely. I’ve been around them and I don’t think he would do that sort of thing.”
Mr W kept it at that but Mrs W told us a story of seeing a certain Ms N, recently divorced asking Mr X to put a bracelet on her. Now I think nothing of that because Mrs X was the one selling the bracelet.
Here comes the foot in mouth part. I don’t know what got into me. After keeping this conversation to myself for months and months I decided to tell Mrs X about the conversation.
In my defence, for me, if anything of that sort was said about me or my beloved to my close friends, I hope they will tell me what they heard. At least so I know who my real friends are and who my enemies are. What I really can’t stand are people who pretend to be nice to me while they spread nasty things about me behind my back. Atleast I know with whom I should stay away from or be careful with.
Mrs X took the conversation well when she was talking with me but I now realize that perhaps what I had told her has affected her more than I thought it would. I had an alarming call from Mr X who told nicely told me please to close this topic and he shared with me, whom he thought the originator of the rumour.
I have to say that I am shocked but not too surprised. But most of all it pains me to hear that the Xs are in pain. Luckily the Ws are no longer here.
I know that its often about the delivery but I’m not sure if I did well on the delivery or not. My intentions were good but I also realize that the road to hell is often paved with good intentions.
May Allah grant the Xs strength and perseverance through this difficult time and may they become stronger.
And perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut next time? I don't know what got into me, too much desert air made me dizzy perhaps?
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Rahmat Allah - Alhamdullilah
Rezeki anakku murah sekali Amin. Semoga Allah sentiasa murahkan rezekinya hingga melimpah ruah sepanjang hayatnya serta berikan dia kesenangan di dunia dan di akhirat. Insyallah.
I got out of the cab. 5 minutes to spare before the shops reopen after the Magrib prayer. The little one was sleepy. It was rather nippy. This winter has been one of the worst.
I was wearing her in my sling. I peered into the glass display of a shop just to look at our reflection to adjust the fabric of my sling.
The lady approached me trying to say something. I didn't quite understand her as she was speaking Arabic.
"Brrrrr," she said.
"Ice."
Ah I understood she was telling me that my baby could be cold. She pointed out that the little one needed a hat. I tried to explain in my non existent Arabic that the little one hates hats and would take it off as soon as I put the hat on.
"Filipini?" she asked me. "Malaysia" I said.
Then she said, "Ta'ali" which I understood as come here.
I don't know what got into me but I followed her towards the corner store selling stockings, underwear, hats and mitts.
She is telling me that I should buy a hat for the little one. Ok. Ok I obliged. So I was trying to make my choice. And I could figure out that she was asking the prices of things to the shopkeeper. And she handed out a hat to me. I put it on the little one to humor her.
And as I was reaching out for my wallet she was telling me, "Hadiah, hadiah."
I was speechless. Flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell her no, no need but I didn't want to offend her by refusing and appearing to be ungrateful. I tried my best in my pidgin Arabic to say "Syukran." I wanted to say May Allah bless you with your kindness. But I was just so tongue tied by the generosity and the kindness of a stranger.
I really didn't know what to do. Not being used to such a situation.
May Allah grant the generous lady whose face I didn't see a lifetime of good blessings and may she be granted abundance always.
As for my little one, she still refuses to wear her hat but I do pray that Allah will continue her good fortune throughout her life.
I got out of the cab. 5 minutes to spare before the shops reopen after the Magrib prayer. The little one was sleepy. It was rather nippy. This winter has been one of the worst.
I was wearing her in my sling. I peered into the glass display of a shop just to look at our reflection to adjust the fabric of my sling.
The lady approached me trying to say something. I didn't quite understand her as she was speaking Arabic.
"Brrrrr," she said.
"Ice."
Ah I understood she was telling me that my baby could be cold. She pointed out that the little one needed a hat. I tried to explain in my non existent Arabic that the little one hates hats and would take it off as soon as I put the hat on.
"Filipini?" she asked me. "Malaysia" I said.
Then she said, "Ta'ali" which I understood as come here.
I don't know what got into me but I followed her towards the corner store selling stockings, underwear, hats and mitts.
She is telling me that I should buy a hat for the little one. Ok. Ok I obliged. So I was trying to make my choice. And I could figure out that she was asking the prices of things to the shopkeeper. And she handed out a hat to me. I put it on the little one to humor her.
And as I was reaching out for my wallet she was telling me, "Hadiah, hadiah."
I was speechless. Flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell her no, no need but I didn't want to offend her by refusing and appearing to be ungrateful. I tried my best in my pidgin Arabic to say "Syukran." I wanted to say May Allah bless you with your kindness. But I was just so tongue tied by the generosity and the kindness of a stranger.
I really didn't know what to do. Not being used to such a situation.
May Allah grant the generous lady whose face I didn't see a lifetime of good blessings and may she be granted abundance always.
As for my little one, she still refuses to wear her hat but I do pray that Allah will continue her good fortune throughout her life.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Trip to the Edge of the World
I have a confession to make.
I Sunflora used to think that I was 25. As each year progressed, I still thought that I was 25 until I got pregnant. That's when suddenly I felt my age. Every year and every month of it. There was something about me being pregnant that made me feel old and tired.
I had always had a tiny fear of height. Not someone who grew up living on the 13th floor surely! I discovered this fear I had when I went hiking up Gunung Ledang with a good friend of mine. I had absolutely no problems climbing up but had such a difficult time climbing down. I felt my knees shaking and that I would tumble and roll down.
Somehow my fear was heightened during our recent trip to the Edge of the World. It was my first desert trip and we went with three other families. My beloved was pumped up to go and had organized the logistics for the trip. Equipped with 2 GPS and 3 4x4s, 4 families met at 6:30 am at the end of a highway and made their way eventually into the desert.
The ride in the desert was somewhat bumpy, some parts scary and other parts shaky. By the time we arrived at the first viewpoint my knees were shaking and I was totally unprepared for the strong cold wind. I was somewhat under dressed and its been a while since I did any hiking or rock climbing and my feet refused to move. They felt like they've been weight down with rocks.
Somehow at the back of my mind, I had this vision that I would tumble, lose my footing and the wind would sweep me off and blow me over the edge and I would fall down the cliff below.
Call me scardy cat but my legs absolutely could not move! So the plan to climb up was aborted.
And then it was time for breakfast. Now I'd have to say that breakfast was the highlight of the trip. Never mind the breathtaking view, the desert fresh air or even the difficulty in getting to the place but breakfast was THE thing that we all have been looking forward to. With Nasi Lemak, Satay goreng, bee hoon goreng and karipap sayur, we had a hearty breakfast.
Then off to the second viewpoint, which required no climbing at my part. With the sun now up above us, the sky clear and blue, I managed to capture some pictures.
The man in blue is a work colleague of one of the guys. Just the though of going the edge is making my palm sweat.
On the way back, we took some pictures of camels. We found out that camels don't roam in the wild anymore. They all belong to someone and some would probably be slaughtered this coming Aidiladha.
Once on the tarmac, we all heaved a sigh of relief. It didn't help that Sally told us about the story of the family found dead in their card in the desert during the summer. A mother with five children had all languished in their car, with no sign of their father. All had died due to dehydration and the heat. Two of her children were laying on the backseat, covered up with a sheet. The mother was holding her baby on her lap while the other two children were hugging each other in the front seat. The mom had left a note saying that she accepted her death as fate. We felt very uneasy after that story, knowing that the desert could be your deadly enemy.
And hopefully we will make another trip out soon.
I Sunflora used to think that I was 25. As each year progressed, I still thought that I was 25 until I got pregnant. That's when suddenly I felt my age. Every year and every month of it. There was something about me being pregnant that made me feel old and tired.
I had always had a tiny fear of height. Not someone who grew up living on the 13th floor surely! I discovered this fear I had when I went hiking up Gunung Ledang with a good friend of mine. I had absolutely no problems climbing up but had such a difficult time climbing down. I felt my knees shaking and that I would tumble and roll down.
Somehow my fear was heightened during our recent trip to the Edge of the World. It was my first desert trip and we went with three other families. My beloved was pumped up to go and had organized the logistics for the trip. Equipped with 2 GPS and 3 4x4s, 4 families met at 6:30 am at the end of a highway and made their way eventually into the desert.
The ride in the desert was somewhat bumpy, some parts scary and other parts shaky. By the time we arrived at the first viewpoint my knees were shaking and I was totally unprepared for the strong cold wind. I was somewhat under dressed and its been a while since I did any hiking or rock climbing and my feet refused to move. They felt like they've been weight down with rocks.
Somehow at the back of my mind, I had this vision that I would tumble, lose my footing and the wind would sweep me off and blow me over the edge and I would fall down the cliff below.
Call me scardy cat but my legs absolutely could not move! So the plan to climb up was aborted.
And then it was time for breakfast. Now I'd have to say that breakfast was the highlight of the trip. Never mind the breathtaking view, the desert fresh air or even the difficulty in getting to the place but breakfast was THE thing that we all have been looking forward to. With Nasi Lemak, Satay goreng, bee hoon goreng and karipap sayur, we had a hearty breakfast.
Then off to the second viewpoint, which required no climbing at my part. With the sun now up above us, the sky clear and blue, I managed to capture some pictures.
The man in blue is a work colleague of one of the guys. Just the though of going the edge is making my palm sweat.
On the way back, we took some pictures of camels. We found out that camels don't roam in the wild anymore. They all belong to someone and some would probably be slaughtered this coming Aidiladha.
Once on the tarmac, we all heaved a sigh of relief. It didn't help that Sally told us about the story of the family found dead in their card in the desert during the summer. A mother with five children had all languished in their car, with no sign of their father. All had died due to dehydration and the heat. Two of her children were laying on the backseat, covered up with a sheet. The mother was holding her baby on her lap while the other two children were hugging each other in the front seat. The mom had left a note saying that she accepted her death as fate. We felt very uneasy after that story, knowing that the desert could be your deadly enemy.
And hopefully we will make another trip out soon.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunflora' Whats-In-the-Fridge-Kuah-Lodeh and glorious B@hr@in
Its been a week since we've celebrated Eid and somehow time flew by in a flash. Only yesterday I managed to make some sayur lodeh to eat with the 4 packets of nasi impit I had. (I had enthusiastically boiled some on the eve of the Eid and a friend had given me 2 more packets.) I specifically made the sayur lodeh because I didn't want to waste the nasi impit which would underwise languish in my fridge.
Now about that kuah lodeh, now we haven't done any grocery shopping since we went to B@hr@in. And I still have some "treasures" from which I managed to get from Rachnee. (Thanks so much Farah! And Elisa you must try to go there next time! They have almost everything! I bought daun pandan, fresh wantan noodles, tahu telur, petai and even fresh ear mushroom.)
So I had to improvise with whatever I had in the fridge.
Sunflora's what's in the fridge Kuah Lodeh
1 onion chopped
2 spoonfuls of fresh tumeric blended (tumeric was brought from Msia b4 Ramadhan!)
2 lemongrass from my garden
some almost dried out leek I had in my fridge, thinly sliced
1 almost dried up carrot
1 radish with lots of roots because I've kept it for so long
1 can of coconut juice (santan)
1 spoonful of ready made belachan chilli sauce
1 cube of chicken stock
a handful of the wood ear mushroom (black fungus) chopped
A packet of frozen fried tofu
1 packet of glass noodles or so-on (
Directions.
Heat some oil in the pot. Saute the onions and the leeks until soft. Add a spoonful of the belachan chilli and 2 spoonfuls of the tumeric. Add the crushed lemongrass.
Once everything has soften add some water. Add the carrots and the radish. Add half of the coconut juice and stir. Throw in the chicken stock.
Once the soup begins to boil do not stop stirring and turn down the heat. Pour in the rest of the coconut juice. Add the black fungus mushroom, the frozen tofu and the glass noodles. Continue stirring and do not allow the soup to boil over.
Wallah! We have the coconut vegetable soup to eat with the nasi impit!
The only comment my dearest made was that my soup was bright yellow which I attributed to using fresh tumeric and not dried.
And what else did I managed to buy from Rachnee? Petai!! Yummy! I made some sambal petai as well to go with the kuah lodeh!
Amongst other finds at Rachnee was green tea with basil leaves (biji selasih) and I also managed to buy some grass jelly (cincau) drink at the Geant in B@hr@in.
We had such a good time at Farah's. Poor Az@m was peeking all the time and refused to fall asleep. Perhaps next time Farah we'll see you again although it looks like it would be after you've had the little one.
B@hr@in was wonderful and we spent too much! Had very good seafood at Royal Thai and the Gulf Hotel. Made a mistake of wanting to peek at the Japanese restaurant and ended up staying for "snacks" which included cawanmushi, salmon sashimi and macha (green tea icecream).
Our next trip we would definitely stop at Rachnee and I'm considering a pandan leaf import business ;)
Now about that kuah lodeh, now we haven't done any grocery shopping since we went to B@hr@in. And I still have some "treasures" from which I managed to get from Rachnee. (Thanks so much Farah! And Elisa you must try to go there next time! They have almost everything! I bought daun pandan, fresh wantan noodles, tahu telur, petai and even fresh ear mushroom.)
So I had to improvise with whatever I had in the fridge.
Sunflora's what's in the fridge Kuah Lodeh
1 onion chopped
2 spoonfuls of fresh tumeric blended (tumeric was brought from Msia b4 Ramadhan!)
2 lemongrass from my garden
some almost dried out leek I had in my fridge, thinly sliced
1 almost dried up carrot
1 radish with lots of roots because I've kept it for so long
1 can of coconut juice (santan)
1 spoonful of ready made belachan chilli sauce
1 cube of chicken stock
a handful of the wood ear mushroom (black fungus) chopped
A packet of frozen fried tofu
1 packet of glass noodles or so-on (
Directions.
Heat some oil in the pot. Saute the onions and the leeks until soft. Add a spoonful of the belachan chilli and 2 spoonfuls of the tumeric. Add the crushed lemongrass.
Once everything has soften add some water. Add the carrots and the radish. Add half of the coconut juice and stir. Throw in the chicken stock.
Once the soup begins to boil do not stop stirring and turn down the heat. Pour in the rest of the coconut juice. Add the black fungus mushroom, the frozen tofu and the glass noodles. Continue stirring and do not allow the soup to boil over.
Wallah! We have the coconut vegetable soup to eat with the nasi impit!
The only comment my dearest made was that my soup was bright yellow which I attributed to using fresh tumeric and not dried.
And what else did I managed to buy from Rachnee? Petai!! Yummy! I made some sambal petai as well to go with the kuah lodeh!
Amongst other finds at Rachnee was green tea with basil leaves (biji selasih) and I also managed to buy some grass jelly (cincau) drink at the Geant in B@hr@in.
We had such a good time at Farah's. Poor Az@m was peeking all the time and refused to fall asleep. Perhaps next time Farah we'll see you again although it looks like it would be after you've had the little one.
B@hr@in was wonderful and we spent too much! Had very good seafood at Royal Thai and the Gulf Hotel. Made a mistake of wanting to peek at the Japanese restaurant and ended up staying for "snacks" which included cawanmushi, salmon sashimi and macha (green tea icecream).
Our next trip we would definitely stop at Rachnee and I'm considering a pandan leaf import business ;)
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Selamat Hari Raya
Kepada teman teman para pembaca blog semua saya ucapkan selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin. Saya ingin meminta maaf sekiranya ada salah atau silap.
Sesungguhnya saya sedang sibuk pada masa cuti ini Insyallah akan saya sambung cerita bila ada kelapangan nanti.
Sesungguhnya saya sedang sibuk pada masa cuti ini Insyallah akan saya sambung cerita bila ada kelapangan nanti.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Hmm entahlah
Reading Elisa's entry somehow resonates with how I have been feeling just a couple of days.
A certain someone mentioned quite a few times that "saya tak pernah pegi rumah Sunflora lagi." Ok, I thought, tell me when you want to come. With a baby it isn't easy for me to entertain so I told her just tell me when you want to come and we'll arrange something.
So this Ramadhan I thought I would have a little do. The guest list will be minimal (apparently for me minimal is 20 people) but since I was catering I thought might as well have it in one go. Even then I didn't get to invite everyone I wanted to invite simply because the whole thing would be too big.
And I invited the certain someone as well. She warned me that she may not be able to come but will reconfirm at a later time. Then comes the day before the ocasion. I called to get a confirmation and the answer was, "Sunflora I tak datang boleh tak?" Me being me I didn't probe further as to reason why the person didn't want to come. Tak nak datang sudahlah takkan nak paksa-paksa pujuk-pujuk. Bukannya budak-budak.
Then it came to my ears that the person discouraged another guest from coming. Takyahlah pegi Sunflora punya tu nanti kene bukak tudung dan pakai topi.
I must say that I was a bit upset with that. Its one thing not wanting to come but another thing to discourage my other guests from coming. Plus would I force my guest from removing their headscarf simply because I want them to dine with me? And if it is so, surely I would tell them in advance. All I said was "No Ab@yas at the pool."
As usual the hubby always take the diplomatic view. He said that I should take what arrived to my ear with a pinch of salt because whatever that came to me may not be exactly that was said.
At the end of the day I have to remind myself that my intention of holding the iftar party was firstly to sedekah orang makan and secondly to bring some friends together before some of them fly home for Eid. Should someone chooses not to come, its their loss not mine.
But all these Chinese whispers can be so annoying sometimes. Apparently my house is known for my cabinets of China. Surprisingly I've been to much nicer houses, much better decorated with a lot more lovely things. For me my house is plain and dull, nothing to shout about.
Entahlah, bersabar jelah nak buat ibadah pun susah jugak kadang-kadang. Baik duduk dalam gua sorang-sorang lagi senang. hmpphhh!
A certain someone mentioned quite a few times that "saya tak pernah pegi rumah Sunflora lagi." Ok, I thought, tell me when you want to come. With a baby it isn't easy for me to entertain so I told her just tell me when you want to come and we'll arrange something.
So this Ramadhan I thought I would have a little do. The guest list will be minimal (apparently for me minimal is 20 people) but since I was catering I thought might as well have it in one go. Even then I didn't get to invite everyone I wanted to invite simply because the whole thing would be too big.
And I invited the certain someone as well. She warned me that she may not be able to come but will reconfirm at a later time. Then comes the day before the ocasion. I called to get a confirmation and the answer was, "Sunflora I tak datang boleh tak?" Me being me I didn't probe further as to reason why the person didn't want to come. Tak nak datang sudahlah takkan nak paksa-paksa pujuk-pujuk. Bukannya budak-budak.
Then it came to my ears that the person discouraged another guest from coming. Takyahlah pegi Sunflora punya tu nanti kene bukak tudung dan pakai topi.
I must say that I was a bit upset with that. Its one thing not wanting to come but another thing to discourage my other guests from coming. Plus would I force my guest from removing their headscarf simply because I want them to dine with me? And if it is so, surely I would tell them in advance. All I said was "No Ab@yas at the pool."
As usual the hubby always take the diplomatic view. He said that I should take what arrived to my ear with a pinch of salt because whatever that came to me may not be exactly that was said.
At the end of the day I have to remind myself that my intention of holding the iftar party was firstly to sedekah orang makan and secondly to bring some friends together before some of them fly home for Eid. Should someone chooses not to come, its their loss not mine.
But all these Chinese whispers can be so annoying sometimes. Apparently my house is known for my cabinets of China. Surprisingly I've been to much nicer houses, much better decorated with a lot more lovely things. For me my house is plain and dull, nothing to shout about.
Entahlah, bersabar jelah nak buat ibadah pun susah jugak kadang-kadang. Baik duduk dalam gua sorang-sorang lagi senang. hmpphhh!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
A reluctant mother
Unlike some women who can’t wait to break the news of their pregnancy to the world, I on the other hand, only told those around us around the sixth month. When I was already showing and the question was inevitable. (The news came out around this time last year, hence this posting.)
Many were surprised that I didn’t break this news much earlier. And in fact many others found out from other people. As soon as the news came out (courtesy of a few CNN newscasters) it spread like wildfire.
And I was so ill equipped and unprepared at being congratulated to. Worst still were the questions thrown at me, why didn’t you tell us? But some of these people, I haven’t spoken to for ages. Was I expected to pick up the phone to inform them that I was pregnant?
The few close friends I had, those I really hung out with, knew somewhat earlier. But what was most apparent to me was the different cultural reactions.
(Atenah and I had this conversation about how we perceived things are shaped by our culture. Yes Atenah I am still pondering what makes me the way I am. And I am beginning to think that some of the so called cultural values that most Malays have, well I don’t seem to hold those values.)
My Malay friends thought that it was their God given right to be told from the very beginning when I was pregnant while my Western friends would just take the information in and smile and asked me how I feel. And the funnier thing was that it was much easier for me to share the news with my Western friends rather than my Malay friends.
My beloved pointed out to me that I hang out with my Western friends because we have some things in common, our quilting hobby perhaps. They are people whom I genuinely enjoy their company and we have the same mindset about things. My Malay friends well, some of them, we hung out with because of the commonality of out culture even though we may not share any common interests or point of view. My Malay friends, I suppose are like family. You can choose your friends, but you don’t choose family.
The other thing I absolutely could not stand was the underlying implication that the Malays assume when they found out that I was pregnant. One of the first questions they would ask was, how many years have you been married? And when given the answer they would react as if a miracle has suddenly taken place. Oh wow! After seven years!
You can finally conceive! They would remark with such surprise.
Out comes the stories of how, "Ah adik I pun dah 8 tahun kawin baru dapat anak." Or "My cousin punya best friend punya sedara tu buat IVF 4 kali baru dapat anak."
It was very difficult to explain to them that it wasn’t that we couldn’t have children, but we chose not to have any all these years. They just cannot believe that there could be such a person who voluntarily chose not to have children after getting married and quickly assume that you have “problems.”
Luckily my beloved, being the ever so wise one, pointed out to me that, "What people say is a reflection of them, of who they are and what they are thinking, and often has nothing to do with you or about you." He also pointed out to me that, "their perception of things belong to them and there is nothing much you can do to change that."
Now don’t get me wrong, now that we have The-Little-One, we love her very much. And yes it is such a joy to see her smile and hear her laugh. But I am still adjusting to my life as a mother. There are days when I do wish I have more time to myself, so I can just sit down to think and be able, at a moment’s notice pack my bag and fly off somewhere. Unplanned trips were my specialty. But these days, it takes me two hours to get ready to go out. And yet I’m breastfeeding, so no hassle with bottles and formulas. But I still go around with a HUGE Gucci diaper bag.
Yes the Gucci diaper bag deserves a mention here, because its part of my denial I guess. I cringe at the thought of carrying a pink quilted bag with pictures of bunnies and storks on the outside.
Some of my friends only found out that I have a baby when I returned for my holidays recently. I just didn’t get round to telling them that I was pregnant and I now have a nine month old child. Some were in shock but I’m sure they’ll get over it somehow.
However, despite my reluctance and my trepidation, I love being a mother to my daughter. I still stand on my past decision not have children any earlier because I needed to be mentally prepared to be one. I needed the time to get to know myself, my limitations, my strengths, my values and my view of the world before I can finally decide what sort of values I want to pass down to my child.
And Atenah, more so now than ever before, I am constantly assessing myself and my environment, and what sort of message I am sending out to my child.
When and how I became like this? I think since my uni days when I was taught to be observant and critical of the things around me. When I was taught to think and assess everything.
And my wish for my child?
For her to get the best education a person can get. Not just having the academic accreditation but also the wisdom of the ways of the world. May she always find happiness in life, in whatever she does. I want her to always know that she is loved very much by both her parents. And that she will become a good Musl/m.
NB Yes Kak Teh, I do need extra hands, arms and legs this year. I don’t know somehow your posting about your mum made me think more about motherhood, in my case the start of my motherhood and my reluctance to embark on this role earlier.
Elisa, yes we are fortunate to have the opportunity to see the true colors of the religion.
Many were surprised that I didn’t break this news much earlier. And in fact many others found out from other people. As soon as the news came out (courtesy of a few CNN newscasters) it spread like wildfire.
And I was so ill equipped and unprepared at being congratulated to. Worst still were the questions thrown at me, why didn’t you tell us? But some of these people, I haven’t spoken to for ages. Was I expected to pick up the phone to inform them that I was pregnant?
The few close friends I had, those I really hung out with, knew somewhat earlier. But what was most apparent to me was the different cultural reactions.
(Atenah and I had this conversation about how we perceived things are shaped by our culture. Yes Atenah I am still pondering what makes me the way I am. And I am beginning to think that some of the so called cultural values that most Malays have, well I don’t seem to hold those values.)
My Malay friends thought that it was their God given right to be told from the very beginning when I was pregnant while my Western friends would just take the information in and smile and asked me how I feel. And the funnier thing was that it was much easier for me to share the news with my Western friends rather than my Malay friends.
My beloved pointed out to me that I hang out with my Western friends because we have some things in common, our quilting hobby perhaps. They are people whom I genuinely enjoy their company and we have the same mindset about things. My Malay friends well, some of them, we hung out with because of the commonality of out culture even though we may not share any common interests or point of view. My Malay friends, I suppose are like family. You can choose your friends, but you don’t choose family.
The other thing I absolutely could not stand was the underlying implication that the Malays assume when they found out that I was pregnant. One of the first questions they would ask was, how many years have you been married? And when given the answer they would react as if a miracle has suddenly taken place. Oh wow! After seven years!
You can finally conceive! They would remark with such surprise.
Out comes the stories of how, "Ah adik I pun dah 8 tahun kawin baru dapat anak." Or "My cousin punya best friend punya sedara tu buat IVF 4 kali baru dapat anak."
It was very difficult to explain to them that it wasn’t that we couldn’t have children, but we chose not to have any all these years. They just cannot believe that there could be such a person who voluntarily chose not to have children after getting married and quickly assume that you have “problems.”
Luckily my beloved, being the ever so wise one, pointed out to me that, "What people say is a reflection of them, of who they are and what they are thinking, and often has nothing to do with you or about you." He also pointed out to me that, "their perception of things belong to them and there is nothing much you can do to change that."
Now don’t get me wrong, now that we have The-Little-One, we love her very much. And yes it is such a joy to see her smile and hear her laugh. But I am still adjusting to my life as a mother. There are days when I do wish I have more time to myself, so I can just sit down to think and be able, at a moment’s notice pack my bag and fly off somewhere. Unplanned trips were my specialty. But these days, it takes me two hours to get ready to go out. And yet I’m breastfeeding, so no hassle with bottles and formulas. But I still go around with a HUGE Gucci diaper bag.
Yes the Gucci diaper bag deserves a mention here, because its part of my denial I guess. I cringe at the thought of carrying a pink quilted bag with pictures of bunnies and storks on the outside.
Some of my friends only found out that I have a baby when I returned for my holidays recently. I just didn’t get round to telling them that I was pregnant and I now have a nine month old child. Some were in shock but I’m sure they’ll get over it somehow.
However, despite my reluctance and my trepidation, I love being a mother to my daughter. I still stand on my past decision not have children any earlier because I needed to be mentally prepared to be one. I needed the time to get to know myself, my limitations, my strengths, my values and my view of the world before I can finally decide what sort of values I want to pass down to my child.
And Atenah, more so now than ever before, I am constantly assessing myself and my environment, and what sort of message I am sending out to my child.
When and how I became like this? I think since my uni days when I was taught to be observant and critical of the things around me. When I was taught to think and assess everything.
And my wish for my child?
For her to get the best education a person can get. Not just having the academic accreditation but also the wisdom of the ways of the world. May she always find happiness in life, in whatever she does. I want her to always know that she is loved very much by both her parents. And that she will become a good Musl/m.
NB Yes Kak Teh, I do need extra hands, arms and legs this year. I don’t know somehow your posting about your mum made me think more about motherhood, in my case the start of my motherhood and my reluctance to embark on this role earlier.
Elisa, yes we are fortunate to have the opportunity to see the true colors of the religion.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
One Iftar in Ramadhan
We were rushed for time. Iftar was just minutes away and we were at the traffic light round the corner. We saw the lady standing on the side with her young child. Two or three years of age perhaps.
"Do you have some small change?" he asked me.
I reached for my bag.
Oh but apparently the lady and her child were not begging as they crossed the road, walking past our car.
The child, a little girl wearing pink, was playful, hung back. The mum pushed her forward.
To our horror the little girl almost fell head first onto the road.
Oh no! I thought! I hope there isn't a car coming their way.
The mum held on to the back of her t shirt and pulled it up. The child was crying.
We saw them walk away.
Somehow the sight of the girl falling down because her mum pushed her forward stayed in my mind. Surely the mum didn't do it on purpose? Surely she loves her little girl? Perhaps she underestimated her own strength?
I hope that girl will always be protected by Allah and may he give her good health and happiness always.
---------------------
The sight of the mother and child crossing the road was a huge contrast to the people who we had iftar with. Toting their latest Roberto Cavalli handbags and their glittery abayas, the ladies were out to impress their friends.
Just seeing the shoes outside the ladies prayer room was as good as strolling on the ladies' shoe department at Harrods. Pradas and shimmery mules. Just name the designer, the shoe would be there.
I don't have to worry about my shoes being stolen then. An old tired, battered and smelly Scholl, I just put it on the side such that no Jimmy Choos would trip over them.
And outside at the dining hall there was just a huge rush for food! Everyone was just so impatient! But all the money and the riches in the world can buy them manners. Designer accessorized plebians at best. While waiting for my ouzi, I watched in horror as a child used her hands to grab the lamb. The mum was too busy dishing food in her own plate that he hardly heed any attention to the child. The server patiently served them, cutting pieces of meat and putting them on her plate. And she used her hands to put them back on the tray.
Did she wash her hands? I wondered.
-----------------
Ramadhan teaches us to be closer with those who have starve day after day. With hopes that we would bring ourselves closer to the Almighty. And that we try to live our lives simply.
But somehow my two experiences today has shown me that the great divide between the rich and the poor is often too big.
And my lesson for the day? To remember that there is life beyond Prada shoes, Roberto Cavalli handbags and thousand riyals abayas.
"Do you have some small change?" he asked me.
I reached for my bag.
Oh but apparently the lady and her child were not begging as they crossed the road, walking past our car.
The child, a little girl wearing pink, was playful, hung back. The mum pushed her forward.
To our horror the little girl almost fell head first onto the road.
Oh no! I thought! I hope there isn't a car coming their way.
The mum held on to the back of her t shirt and pulled it up. The child was crying.
We saw them walk away.
Somehow the sight of the girl falling down because her mum pushed her forward stayed in my mind. Surely the mum didn't do it on purpose? Surely she loves her little girl? Perhaps she underestimated her own strength?
I hope that girl will always be protected by Allah and may he give her good health and happiness always.
---------------------
The sight of the mother and child crossing the road was a huge contrast to the people who we had iftar with. Toting their latest Roberto Cavalli handbags and their glittery abayas, the ladies were out to impress their friends.
Just seeing the shoes outside the ladies prayer room was as good as strolling on the ladies' shoe department at Harrods. Pradas and shimmery mules. Just name the designer, the shoe would be there.
I don't have to worry about my shoes being stolen then. An old tired, battered and smelly Scholl, I just put it on the side such that no Jimmy Choos would trip over them.
And outside at the dining hall there was just a huge rush for food! Everyone was just so impatient! But all the money and the riches in the world can buy them manners. Designer accessorized plebians at best. While waiting for my ouzi, I watched in horror as a child used her hands to grab the lamb. The mum was too busy dishing food in her own plate that he hardly heed any attention to the child. The server patiently served them, cutting pieces of meat and putting them on her plate. And she used her hands to put them back on the tray.
Did she wash her hands? I wondered.
-----------------
Ramadhan teaches us to be closer with those who have starve day after day. With hopes that we would bring ourselves closer to the Almighty. And that we try to live our lives simply.
But somehow my two experiences today has shown me that the great divide between the rich and the poor is often too big.
And my lesson for the day? To remember that there is life beyond Prada shoes, Roberto Cavalli handbags and thousand riyals abayas.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I smoke when I'm lonely
We pressed on his doorbell twice. There was no answer the first time round.
Perhaps he isn't at home?
Finally he answered the door.
"Oh hello," he greeted us. Surprised. We tried calling him earlier but there was no answer.
"Sorry I have turned off the aircon," he apologized sheepishly.
"I wasn't expecting company. Come on in."
"I didn't know you smoked?" said S.
"I only smoke when I get lonely."
That remarked he made, even though it was sponteneous and offhand, struck me like a knife on my chest.
I noticed he has been lying down on the couch in the living room. With a neat, white pillowcase, a laptop on the coffee table and a headphone. A yellow food container laid on the table, take away dinner perhaps.
I've been there, living on the sofa in my living room, at different times in my life. Once while at university when I was living alone. And once again while waiting to come here.
And so has S.
Just at that moment I felt so grateful, so thankful that I have S on my side.
Because that person living on the couch in front of the tv and the pc could just as easily be either one of us.
He left his beloved and his 2 children back home. Not everyone gets the luxury of coming here as a family. Many don't.
Perhaps I wished that we were elsewhere but for now I am grateful that we are together.
Perhaps he isn't at home?
Finally he answered the door.
"Oh hello," he greeted us. Surprised. We tried calling him earlier but there was no answer.
"Sorry I have turned off the aircon," he apologized sheepishly.
"I wasn't expecting company. Come on in."
"I didn't know you smoked?" said S.
"I only smoke when I get lonely."
That remarked he made, even though it was sponteneous and offhand, struck me like a knife on my chest.
I noticed he has been lying down on the couch in the living room. With a neat, white pillowcase, a laptop on the coffee table and a headphone. A yellow food container laid on the table, take away dinner perhaps.
I've been there, living on the sofa in my living room, at different times in my life. Once while at university when I was living alone. And once again while waiting to come here.
And so has S.
Just at that moment I felt so grateful, so thankful that I have S on my side.
Because that person living on the couch in front of the tv and the pc could just as easily be either one of us.
He left his beloved and his 2 children back home. Not everyone gets the luxury of coming here as a family. Many don't.
Perhaps I wished that we were elsewhere but for now I am grateful that we are together.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Melayu baru?
Jam 10 malam di kota Singa. Ke mana boleh kami pergi? Leceh sungguh rasanya tidak ada empat roda sendiri, tapi tak mengapa teksi banyak ada. Ke manakah kami? Yang lain semua sudah tutup, ke Mustafa center la akhirnya. Di buka 24 jam, boleh saya lepaskan geram hendak membeli belah di tengah malam dalam kota singa yang humid ini.
Di Mustafa saya perasan, ada ramai Melayu. Ada yang datang sekeluarga, ada yang datang bersama teman-teman. Ada yang melihat saya dengan tanda tanya di muka mereka. Ada pula yang setelah melihat and memalingkan muka ke tempat lain. Lantaklah.
"They think you are Malaysian." Bisik si dia. Betulkah? Sudah lama ku tinggalkan kota ini hingga aku dilihat seperti orang asing di tempat kelahiran ku?
Mungkin kerana saya bertudung hitam dan mendokong si cilik di dalam sling.
Tapi yang nyata bahasa yang dituturkan orang Melayu di k0ta Singa ini susah untuk saya fahami. Phrasa-phrasa yang amat janggal di dengar timbul semula.
"Kitaorang nak pegi makan lah!"
Pengalaman saya ini, saya ceritakan pada Crof. Adakah ini perkembangan baru?
Ya inilah dia Melayu ghetto. Mereka ada lingo mereka sendiri. Cara percakapan mereka berbeza.
Yang jelas bukan saya sahaja yang nampak/denagr kelainan dalam mereka.
Sedang saya membeli coklat di Millinea walk, saya di tanya,
"You all ni bukan orang sini ke?"
Erkk.
"We are, just that we've been living abroad for awhile."
Dia nampak tanduk alien kah di atas kepala saya?
Di Mustafa saya perasan, ada ramai Melayu. Ada yang datang sekeluarga, ada yang datang bersama teman-teman. Ada yang melihat saya dengan tanda tanya di muka mereka. Ada pula yang setelah melihat and memalingkan muka ke tempat lain. Lantaklah.
"They think you are Malaysian." Bisik si dia. Betulkah? Sudah lama ku tinggalkan kota ini hingga aku dilihat seperti orang asing di tempat kelahiran ku?
Mungkin kerana saya bertudung hitam dan mendokong si cilik di dalam sling.
Tapi yang nyata bahasa yang dituturkan orang Melayu di k0ta Singa ini susah untuk saya fahami. Phrasa-phrasa yang amat janggal di dengar timbul semula.
"Kitaorang nak pegi makan lah!"
Pengalaman saya ini, saya ceritakan pada Crof. Adakah ini perkembangan baru?
Ya inilah dia Melayu ghetto. Mereka ada lingo mereka sendiri. Cara percakapan mereka berbeza.
Yang jelas bukan saya sahaja yang nampak/denagr kelainan dalam mereka.
Sedang saya membeli coklat di Millinea walk, saya di tanya,
"You all ni bukan orang sini ke?"
Erkk.
"We are, just that we've been living abroad for awhile."
Dia nampak tanduk alien kah di atas kepala saya?
Friday, September 01, 2006
Are you a strict Musl|m?
The question was posed to me by a friend last night.
My immediate reaction was, what does it mean being a strict Musl}m?
Am I considered one now because I wear a scarf?
Frankly I am a scarf wearer in training right now. I don't wear my scarf as neatly as others do. But I didn't know that a bit of fabric on my head would make so much difference in the way other people see and perceive me. I am still struggling with the fabric but I guess its more than just a fabric, its me holding a sign saying "I am a Musl|m woman."
As for being a "strict" Musl|m, I'm not even sure what that means. I'm just trying to be a grateful and humble slave, who is grateful to Allah for all that he has given me. I have been very lucky in this life so far and the least I could do is to be grateful with what He is giving me.
Another asked me if this was a splash back from living in S@udi Ar@bia. Perhaps in the beginning it was. But I would say my main impetus for change was our pilgrimage trip. For me it was a journey that opened my eyes. It made me see the beauty of the religion and the people who practise the religion.
This pilgrimage experience however should not be mixed up with my experience of living in R|yadh, because living in the city made me realize that the beauty of my religion has nothing to do with geography or a certain race of people. I have faced more racism here than I have ever experienced before in my life. And no secular law can make the people in the country more religious. It can limit temptation yes, but it will not make the people religious.
At the end of the day, its the intentions we have at heart that counts. I don't think I am a good enough Musl|m that I think I should be. I am trying though. I am trying my hardest to be a better person.
I only ask that Allah gives me strength and make it easier for me to do so.
My immediate reaction was, what does it mean being a strict Musl}m?
Am I considered one now because I wear a scarf?
Frankly I am a scarf wearer in training right now. I don't wear my scarf as neatly as others do. But I didn't know that a bit of fabric on my head would make so much difference in the way other people see and perceive me. I am still struggling with the fabric but I guess its more than just a fabric, its me holding a sign saying "I am a Musl|m woman."
As for being a "strict" Musl|m, I'm not even sure what that means. I'm just trying to be a grateful and humble slave, who is grateful to Allah for all that he has given me. I have been very lucky in this life so far and the least I could do is to be grateful with what He is giving me.
Another asked me if this was a splash back from living in S@udi Ar@bia. Perhaps in the beginning it was. But I would say my main impetus for change was our pilgrimage trip. For me it was a journey that opened my eyes. It made me see the beauty of the religion and the people who practise the religion.
This pilgrimage experience however should not be mixed up with my experience of living in R|yadh, because living in the city made me realize that the beauty of my religion has nothing to do with geography or a certain race of people. I have faced more racism here than I have ever experienced before in my life. And no secular law can make the people in the country more religious. It can limit temptation yes, but it will not make the people religious.
At the end of the day, its the intentions we have at heart that counts. I don't think I am a good enough Musl|m that I think I should be. I am trying though. I am trying my hardest to be a better person.
I only ask that Allah gives me strength and make it easier for me to do so.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Lama tak update
Pasal terasa malas pulak. Banyak cerita saya dengar tapi saja takde ilham nak menulis. Seorang kawan yang sudah berada di sini selama 20 tahun akan pulang ke tanah air. Sedih rasanya. Saya tinjau rumah yang telah mereka sewa selama 9 tahun. Adoiii pening kepala!
Saya pula terasa gerun. Bagaimanakah nanti apabila sampai masanya untuk kami berpindah? Banyak harta karun yang telah saya kumpul. Rumah ini dah mulai menjadi gua Ali Baba. Yerlah kadang-kadang ada kawan yang balik negri beri saya barang mereka. Adapula orang yang berbaik hati beri barang yang mereka sudah tidak perlukan. Adoiiii.
Nasib baik KaKlela dapat berchat dengan saya kelmarin dan memberi saya tip bagaimana hendak bersihkan blog saya ini daripada gangguan spyware. Entah mana dapat spyware tu tak taulah.
Ada juga pergi bercoffee morning di rumah kawan di sini. Banyak pula mendapat gossip. Yelah sedangkan lidah, boleh bergigit apa lagi situasi di office terbawa-bawa ke kehidupan seharian.
Bulan Ramadhan sudah mulai dekat. Sudahkah anda habis membayar hutang puasa anda?
Bagaimana pula dengan zakat harta anda? Sudahkah anda langsaikan?
Kalau nak hantar baju melayu untuk di tempah baiklah di hantar sekarang. Nanti bila Ramadhan sudah mula ramai tailor tak mau ambil upah lagi.
Saya pula sedang tunggu kedai kain kegemaran saya membuat SALE agar saya dapat memborong kain kegemaran saya. Malangnya kedai tu tak ada SALE langsung!
Sesiapa yang nak menunaikan ibadah Haji tahun ni baik lah mula bersedia, dah daftar nama?
Kalau ikutkan hati memang terasa nak pergi lagi. Insyallah kalau ade panggilan dan rezeki. Umrah pun dah lama tak pergi. Nak tunggu musim cuti sekolah berakhir. Tapi tahun ni tak lama selepas sekolah dibuka semula, Ramadhan pun menjelma. Tentu ramai yang mengerjakan umrah dalam bulan Ramadhan.
Tinjau-tinjau di blog teman-teman ramai juga yang tak rancak berupdate. Uh Uh.
I think I have rambled enough. Its obvious that my coherant voice is in a rut right now. Thank you for your comments. Sorry I havent gone round to replying them.
Saya pula terasa gerun. Bagaimanakah nanti apabila sampai masanya untuk kami berpindah? Banyak harta karun yang telah saya kumpul. Rumah ini dah mulai menjadi gua Ali Baba. Yerlah kadang-kadang ada kawan yang balik negri beri saya barang mereka. Adapula orang yang berbaik hati beri barang yang mereka sudah tidak perlukan. Adoiiii.
Nasib baik KaKlela dapat berchat dengan saya kelmarin dan memberi saya tip bagaimana hendak bersihkan blog saya ini daripada gangguan spyware. Entah mana dapat spyware tu tak taulah.
Ada juga pergi bercoffee morning di rumah kawan di sini. Banyak pula mendapat gossip. Yelah sedangkan lidah, boleh bergigit apa lagi situasi di office terbawa-bawa ke kehidupan seharian.
Bulan Ramadhan sudah mulai dekat. Sudahkah anda habis membayar hutang puasa anda?
Bagaimana pula dengan zakat harta anda? Sudahkah anda langsaikan?
Kalau nak hantar baju melayu untuk di tempah baiklah di hantar sekarang. Nanti bila Ramadhan sudah mula ramai tailor tak mau ambil upah lagi.
Saya pula sedang tunggu kedai kain kegemaran saya membuat SALE agar saya dapat memborong kain kegemaran saya. Malangnya kedai tu tak ada SALE langsung!
Sesiapa yang nak menunaikan ibadah Haji tahun ni baik lah mula bersedia, dah daftar nama?
Kalau ikutkan hati memang terasa nak pergi lagi. Insyallah kalau ade panggilan dan rezeki. Umrah pun dah lama tak pergi. Nak tunggu musim cuti sekolah berakhir. Tapi tahun ni tak lama selepas sekolah dibuka semula, Ramadhan pun menjelma. Tentu ramai yang mengerjakan umrah dalam bulan Ramadhan.
Tinjau-tinjau di blog teman-teman ramai juga yang tak rancak berupdate. Uh Uh.
I think I have rambled enough. Its obvious that my coherant voice is in a rut right now. Thank you for your comments. Sorry I havent gone round to replying them.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Kalau masih ade nafsu
Pada hujung minggu lalu kami berjumpa sekali lagi untuk wanita-wanita yang bermain kutu. Dalam group kutu saya ni ada ramai juga jururawat yang bekerja di hospital gomen di sini. Yerlah kalau dah semua wanita bertemua tanpa lelaki, topik semasa antara lain termasuk topik lelaki tempatan di sini.
Menurut K (Bukan Datuk K yea!) ada seorang pakcik berumur 82 tahun yang datang ke clinic nya setiap bulan. Cuba teka dia datang untuk check apa? Pakcik 82 tahun datang untuk memohon dipasangkan alat sulit baru atau prostetic. Setiap bulan permohonanya di tolak oleh doktor kerana jantungnya terlalu lemah untuk keseronokkan seperti ini. Tetapi Pakcik 82 tahun ni tidak mahu menerima hakikat ini dan akan datang setiap bulan. Khabarnya dia mempunyai seorang calon remaja berumur 18 tahun yang bakal di jadikan isteri.
Rupanya di sini ramai lelaki yang sudah lanjut usianya berkawin dengan anak gadis muda. Bila saya tanya kenapa atau bagaimana gadis-gadis ini bersetuju untuk dikawinkan dengan pakcik tua dan berkerepot? Ceritanya mungkin keluarga perempuan tersebut memerlukan duit, dengan perkawinan tersebut keluarganya akan menerima "pampasan" dari lelaki tersebut.
Teringat saya bila saya pergi ke pasar emas kemarin. Saya ternampak seorang pakcik tua memberli satu set barang emas siap rantai, anting-anting, gelang dan sebagainya.
Di sini tak ramai mencuri/peragut kalau di Malaysia mungkin pakcik tu tak berani shopping sorang-sorang agaknya yerlah takut di rompak! Sure kalau dua orang lelaki tolak pakcik tu sekali dapat rampas barang emas tu. Tapi di sini pencuri di hukum potong tangan jadi tak ramai pencuri.
Memang saya sendiri terfikir, pakcik tu beli barang kemas untuk dia atau untuk anak nya? Sebabnya di sini kalau lelaki yang membeli set seperti itu, untuk hadiah perkawinan.
Geng jururawat memberitahu saya yang di sini ramai lelaki yang memasang berbagai jenis alat untuk menolong mereka berfungsi. Sama ada yang berpump, yang plastic dan sebagainya. Pill biru pula memang senang di beli di farmasi di sini tanpa perlu prescription.
Jangan di sangka yang berkopiah, berjubah dan bertasbih itu tidak ada nafsu! kadangkala mereka ini lebih dahsyat!
Menurut K (Bukan Datuk K yea!) ada seorang pakcik berumur 82 tahun yang datang ke clinic nya setiap bulan. Cuba teka dia datang untuk check apa? Pakcik 82 tahun datang untuk memohon dipasangkan alat sulit baru atau prostetic. Setiap bulan permohonanya di tolak oleh doktor kerana jantungnya terlalu lemah untuk keseronokkan seperti ini. Tetapi Pakcik 82 tahun ni tidak mahu menerima hakikat ini dan akan datang setiap bulan. Khabarnya dia mempunyai seorang calon remaja berumur 18 tahun yang bakal di jadikan isteri.
Rupanya di sini ramai lelaki yang sudah lanjut usianya berkawin dengan anak gadis muda. Bila saya tanya kenapa atau bagaimana gadis-gadis ini bersetuju untuk dikawinkan dengan pakcik tua dan berkerepot? Ceritanya mungkin keluarga perempuan tersebut memerlukan duit, dengan perkawinan tersebut keluarganya akan menerima "pampasan" dari lelaki tersebut.
Teringat saya bila saya pergi ke pasar emas kemarin. Saya ternampak seorang pakcik tua memberli satu set barang emas siap rantai, anting-anting, gelang dan sebagainya.
Di sini tak ramai mencuri/peragut kalau di Malaysia mungkin pakcik tu tak berani shopping sorang-sorang agaknya yerlah takut di rompak! Sure kalau dua orang lelaki tolak pakcik tu sekali dapat rampas barang emas tu. Tapi di sini pencuri di hukum potong tangan jadi tak ramai pencuri.
Memang saya sendiri terfikir, pakcik tu beli barang kemas untuk dia atau untuk anak nya? Sebabnya di sini kalau lelaki yang membeli set seperti itu, untuk hadiah perkawinan.
Geng jururawat memberitahu saya yang di sini ramai lelaki yang memasang berbagai jenis alat untuk menolong mereka berfungsi. Sama ada yang berpump, yang plastic dan sebagainya. Pill biru pula memang senang di beli di farmasi di sini tanpa perlu prescription.
Jangan di sangka yang berkopiah, berjubah dan bertasbih itu tidak ada nafsu! kadangkala mereka ini lebih dahsyat!
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