I was reading Dina Zaman’s blog dated 19th March,2004, Another Divorce. Somehow that set me thinking. Why are we women so bitchy? I suppose some men are bitchy too, but what is it that makes us Bitchy? The term bitchy itself has a female connotation to it. A bitch afterall is a female dog. Is being bitchy a learnt response or is it a genetic predisposition? My travels have shown to me that it is not culture specific, so far anyways.
What is it about us women that we are unkind to another especially divorced woman? Perhaps its our own insecurities. And perhaps its related to the “hero syndrome” that our men have.
Let me tell you about my friend W. He is tall, good looking, charming and in general very, very presentable. The sort you can bring anywhere really. Of course he is an incorrigible flirt. Part of the package really. He is married, to a wife whom I respected and they have lovely lovely kids. Their marriage was something I really looked up to. Both have very successful careers, both are independent and I thought that they had the most understanding relationship that I know of. Then he told me he had an affair. My world crumbled!
W, you see, has what I diagnosed as a Superhero Syndrome. Perhaps its something to do with watching lots of those American Action heroes movies, perhaps at the end of the day, our men would like to be some women’s knight in shining armour. Its a result of our sedentry modern lifestyles.
The woman? A very pretty not so young thing. Fresh out of a marriage. Finalizing her divorce. She was lonely, she needed guidance and help and W came to her rescue. Being all alone again, for some, is not an easy thing. He spends a lot of time on the phone with her, they meet for coffee, for lunch, for dinner and then apparently they fell in love. A case of one lonely heart and an overactive crotch. A lethal combination.
So ask me why again we women are bitchy to a divorcee? Because we fear that she will now take our men away! The ones we have carefully selected, house trained, thrown away our careers and looks for by having his kids. And most of all we fear the men in our lives, especially those we have at our disposal, overcame by his superhero syndrome and decides to rescue the recently divorced damsel in distress who happens to be lonely and possibly is open to new options. Him.
Men, at no matter what age, are still little boys who want to be pampered and spoilt, with aspirations to be superheroes. Who do you think buy all the comic books and watch the action movies? Those in the age group of 11 to 20? Try 20 to 55.
After or even during a hard day at the office, they sometimes want to swoop away to save all the damsels in distress. A bit like Superman really. Or Spiderman even! And Batman too! I blame it on all of them! Putting ideas in our sons/fathers/brothers/husbands heads!
So perhaps, if we women rally around the recently divorced, providing her with all the support we can give then there wouldn’t be too many opportunities for our men to be superheroes to these recently single beings?
But then there is the question of sex. What do we do?
