Feeling wretched

I have been feeling somewhat down and a little overwhelmed for over a week now. First was the shooting of the 4 Fr3nchm3n. Not that I knew them personally. But living in this small community of expats, its inevitable that someone knew someone who does.

I found out about the shooting at 8:45 am on Tuesday morning. I had gotten up early, took my shower and got ready to catch the 11 am bus to go for the annual cultural festival. At 845 am the phone rang. It was the receptionist telling me that the bus to the festival was cancelled due to the shooting. What shooting? I hadn't watch the news the night before. I called a few friends asking if they heard anything and they in turn called a few friends asking if they had heard anything. Finally between us we found some pieces to the jigsaw puzzle. News were sketchy.

I didn't get to go to the Annual cultural festival. I was somewhat disappointed. Perhaps I will have next year. Perhaps.

The following day I noticed that there were a lot of people next door. The B3lgians who live there had gone on the same trip to the historic ruins with the men who were shot. The difference was my neighbours came home safely but their friends didn't.

While washing my dishes suddenly I saw all their children walking out of the house.

And all of them were crying. Some were consoling each other, some were just crying alone.

I didn't know what to do.

When I peeked at the front window I saw the mother was crying outside too.

Apparently they had all just found out that the 16 year old boy had just passed away. He succumbed to his injuries.

One day they were having fun, the next, their friend had died.

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Over the weekend, we went to the Iris fields again. This trip had been planned for some time now. Concerned friends who knew I was going called me and cautioned me against going. Apparently most of the Western embassies have issued a warning against their citizens going to the desert. Even one of our friends have decided not to go. Apparently the Ministry of Foreign Affairs here have released a statement cautioning diplomats from travelling to the desert.

We however decided to go. Undettered by terrorist threats, five cars took the journey to Tuma/r. Only to face a terrible sandstorm. Even the shepherds were taking their herd away from the Iris field. the sandstorm was hitting Tuma/r in full force. Did we turn back? No no! the show must go on!

We parked the cars in such a way we thought would reduce the brute force of the wind. I was sooooo hungry that despite the sand that was everywhere and was getting into everything I insist that we took out some of our food. First we distributed the ice cream, then the chicken wings. After we found that the sand didn't quite change the taste of the ice cream or the chicken wings, we took out all the other food and started eating.

When it was time for us to watch the flowers bloom, I felt somewhat faint and decided to sit in the car instead of waiting for them to bloom. A drink of water and some air conditioner made me a little better. I went out to see the flowers again. tried to take some pictures but this time my camera jammed. The sand had somehow got in the lenses and jammed them. *sigh* It was just not meant to be.

We then adjourned at R's house.

Perhaps the weather was mourning for the men who were slain. Never underestimate the desert.

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News about the passing of Nazrah's mum spread quite quickly. I got a ym message from CK and then an SMS from Elisa. Tried sending Nazrah an SMS but not sure if she received it.

I know too well how it felt like losing a mother. I had to help arrange her funeral. Its been awhile but its one of those things that you'll never forget. Somehow the news made me recalls details about the funeral arrangements.

I wish her well and hope she has the strength to go through the days ahead.


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I have 2 sets of blocks I have to finish by this weekend. Argghh friendship blocks are meant to be fun and full of happy memories but I am beginning to really hate this excercise. Triangles drive me crazy!

My whole body is aching and my mind exhausted. My time table is full.

Are we staying or are we going?

Frankly I don't mind it either way. All I ask is that Allah give us whatever it is that is the best for us. I accept that Allah knows best and what he decides is the best for me. Sometimes its a test, sometimes the goodness is only seen in hindsight.

In the meantime, I will exercise my freewill to make the best out of my situation.