Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Do not leave a vaccuum

Reading Lollies' entry Salah satu factor some how reminded me a topic I wanted to blog myself.

How, if you don’t want to step up and assume your role as partner and supporter to your hubby who lives in this region, then someone else will take up that place.

Ok perhaps you can tell me that, this is not the only factor why these men stray. I’ll give you that. But as Lollies aptly tittled entry suggest, it is one of the factors why the men here stray.

Take my neighbour Mr X. He is one of those men who is house proud. He has lovely and beautiful roses outside his villa. Even before I met him I was really curious who the owner of the roses was because I wanted to get tips from the person. Then I found out that Mr X used to be here with his family and children. Until the bombings started and his wife decided that she and her children wouldn’t like to live here but would go home instead. Leaving Mr X alone. They had a housemaid who stayed on with him and the next thing I heard was the maid now is the mistress of the house.

Of course I mentioned this to Nu the other day. Nu has no heart in living here. Apparently her sister is of no help. “Come home. Come, Its your nephew’s school holidays. Come and help me. Afterall you’re not doing anything there right?”

I know some people will shoot me for this but I will say it out loud here.

Looking after your husband is not nothing, if anything it’s a huge responsibility. Its not about cleaning after him or fetching his slippers. Its about being his companion through thick and thin. Especially when he needs you most here. When he wants to come home to someone and not just an empty apartment so he can tell you about his frustrations, anger and joy at the office that day.

And if you can’t provide him that, then don’t be surprise if someone else steps up and fill that vacuum.

Especially in this region where the surroundings and social structure is very different and unfamiliar.

I tried to mention this to Nu but she said something along the lines of, well I told my husband if he wants to stray he can just tell me and let me go. And I am not the confrontational sort. I wanted to say that if it comes to that, it will already be too late. Problems like this should be nipped at the bud, lined with weed killer and not allowed to blossom and bloom to that.

So if your hubby gets a chance to work in the M.E. or anywhere else for that matter (but normally if its London or the States the wives will jump at the opportunity to come along anyways!) come along with him. Make arrangements so you can bring the whole family together as a unit and live as a family.

But I guess kalau the hubby dah memang gatal takyah gi overseas pun boleh buat gaks.

Siapkan je sebotol Roundup.

Roundup Sirap drink on a hot day it is!


Dame RoSse said...

i thought the subject was about 'vacuum' cleaner lah. very bimboish of me to assume that. sometimes it is not easy for the wife to follow the husband kan, if she is bonded to the gomen, and cuti is very limited. if i am in your situation, i hope i have your strength to be independent when hubby at work.

Lollies said...

dame rosa : trust me it is not easy. To continue heretaking car eof hubby ensuring that the family is one, together mether, i have to sacrifice a lot. And i eamn a lot. emotionally leaving my parents and all that is one thing.

I think this way I hope some weeds are taken care of, but like you said kalau dah gaal, duduk kat mana2 pun gatal gak. Yang tu tak dapat den nak tologn deh