Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I have 5 mins

She opened her eyes and uttered, " Sea, sand.... friend."

Were you dreaming of the beach darling? When you were playing with the sand?

We just came back from a short trip to D@ha, Q@tar. We spend Friday at The Four Seasons for brunch and a quick sit down at the private beach. Obviously the 30 mins we spent there had a great impression on The Little One. She had found 2 buckets and a spade by the seats and attacked the sand with such gusto, shovelling the sand into the buckets. When the buckets were full, she overturned them and started over again. It looked like it was so much fun that another girl decided to join her. She asked her mother in Arabic pointing to The Little One and I encouraged her to play.

I encouraged The Little One to share her bucket and spade.

Is that what you dreamed about darling? The friend you made at the beach in Doha?

I hope your life will be filled with more memorable moments.

I have to salute those mothers with multiple children who handles motherhood like a breeze.

I however am trying to cram laundry, lunch, surfing and TV all in one go. Because The Little One is finally sleeping. She missed her nap yesterday and at the end of the day I was so exhausted, I slept at 9 pm. It doesn't help that I gave the help time off. How other mothers survive without help is just beyond me. Kudos to them.

The Little One's birthday is 4 days away and I have decided that this year we will not have a party. I am crap at organizing parties and at the end of the day she received so many toys, some of which I have begun to give away.

I have to say that I am so thankful for The Little One's fortune. She seems to receive gifts throughout the year and at this time of the year she gets the most fabulous gifts from friends and neighbours. I am truly grateful to them for their kind thoughts. I am amazed how many people think of and for her. I hope her good fortune will continue throughout her life, may she always be loved by everyone around her and may her life will always be in abundance.

OK so no party but as parents we have decided that we are on a mission to create happy childhood memories. That little brain is like a magic sponge now. She remembers too clearly the boat ride she took in Langkawi with Wan, Atuk, Umi, Abah, Kak Nayli, mummy, Daddy and Uncle Ajud. The boat ride was the best money we paid out for.

I know I have been digressing. Truth is I still don't know what to do!

Anyways plans are what we have for next year. How many will materialize? We'll see.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Ummi Happy?

On my journey of motherhood I sometimes encounter rocky roads but often time the joy of the journey surprises me out of no where.

I was trying to put The Little One down for a nap yesterday but it wasn't easy. Partly my fault really. I blame it on Mr Krispy Kreme. But anyways, as she was lying down beside me, I said, "You will be the happiest girl in the world and may your life always be filled with happiness."

The Little One with her bright eyes stopped suckling and asked me, "Ummi happy?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Abah happy?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Little One happy?" I asked her.

"Little One happy," she answered.

She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Does she really know what happy means or is she just emulating me? Can she really grasp the concept of happiness?

Over the past couple of months she has surprised me so much. She knows what she likes or not like with "Not nice." Or what she wants.

Many people have told me that she speaks well. But I didn't think it was extraordinary. According to the BabyCenter she is just right smack on top developmentally. But seriously some words that do come out does sometimes surprise me. It shouldn't really with all the reading and talking I have done with her. Its no different than watching my papaya tree grow in my backyard. I put the seed in the soil with great hope and when the seed grew into a tree, I was pleasantly surprised yet anxious that the tree will bear fruit. Not just any fruit but edible fruits.

So I have to tend both The Little One and papaya tree with great care. Not to pat my back too soon. And continue to persevere. On both good days and bad days.

I've been so busy the past month with my new career. Sometimes I feel I really have to make difficult choices, time for myself or time for my Little One. Do I send her out so I can work, sew, surf, read or do research? Or do I spend my time tending her, enriching her, showering her with love and attention.

I am so torn some days. Torn between my tendency to over commit myself and my desire to enrich my Little Ones's Life. I know its not necessarily one or the other but somedays it feels that way.

I haven't been able to quilt for the past 2 months now. I do miss it a lot and deadlines are looming. But here I am blogging again.

The past month has been so hectic for me and some days I feel I can hardly breathe. I do realize that I am so lucky to be this busy. Many in my shoes are languishing with boredom. Prioritizing became a priority for me. Some invites I had to decline. Some meetings I just cannot arrange and some emails I could not reply. Friends might just find me flaky but at least I am honest to myself. I must learn to decline more.

More importantly, I concentrate on things and people that make ME happy.

I want to remember, that yesterday The Little One, MY Little One asked me if I was happy. And I told her I was.

I am happy.

And Darlings you bring the joy in my life.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Thank you

I would like to thank my friends who took the effort to meet up with us when we were back for holidays. And I would like to apologize to those who we didn't get to meet. Time is such a precious commodity on such trips and this being Hari Raya meant we had to divide time between family, friends and relatives not to mention AM's enrichment classes and shopping!

But I have to say that I was very extremely touched by the splendid four who met up with us the night before we flew out. You know who you and and I lap yew! Seriously! Satay never tasted better! I thought I was so over with Satay Hj Samuri but the company made me hungry ;) Your entertaining stories plus the air kelapa was just so fabulous! It was so good to relive old times! Rasa macam zaman dating-dating dulu despite the sleeping child strapped to my chest.

I always feel guilty that I am horrible at keeping in touch. But you guys really are what friendship is all about. Not even time nor distance can break friendships. Sometimes I really do miss the good old days!

Yes I am back here to my "normal" life. Sometimes I am just too tired of making new friends or the need to conform. Hanging out with you made me feel so comfortable and so relieved that I can just be me, the old me.

Adoii mushy plaks ni! OK lain kali taun depan kita jumpa lagi ta kisahlah berempat atau berlapan :)

Thank you guys! I am so lucky I have friends like you!