Saturday, July 10, 2004

Another year and another birthday...

I don't know why, the day before my birthday was filled with feelings of dread and unhappiness. Perhaps its just that I realised that another year of my life has passed and I still can't make the big decisions.

Quite a few things have changed in the past year. I managed to do most of the things I said I wanted to do and it is time for me to make a decision soon.

I should consider myself lucky really but it is just the nature of (wo)man that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Spent the morning sleeping in, had my favourite M&S avocado salad with Oakney dressed crab meat for brunch. With my favourite Gurnsey and Jersey milk. Yes I'd have to say I miss M&S and my Gurnsey and Jersey milk. Had a shower and rushed to the airport. Sent Him off.

Somehow it gets harder each time, to be separated. We were living apart for 5 months and back together again for 5 weeks and suddenly separation feels unbearable. Am I getting old and clingy? I thought I wanted to always maintain my independence! Is this the sign of old age in me?

I have never been one to celebrate birthdays with parties and cake. I had always felt that it was a waste of money and I much prefer to spend the day with quiet moments with my loved ones.

And that I did....

When I arrived home, I took a walk in my garden. Cut some lavender and put them in the wheely bins. The lovely scented flowers helped! Made myself some kuay teow soup with scallops and fish balls and vegetables. Watched Cory and then Midsommer Murders.

My life may appear to be boring but I think I am contented. Insyallah.

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