Oleh katak yang dah lama di bawah tempurung mewah. Ribbit ribbit.
This summer marks my completion of my second year here. It’s only been two years but it feels like a whole lifetime to me. To my own surprise, I’m feeling very much at home in this city I used to loath. And the thought of moving is just daunting.
My beloved said something the other that stumped me.
“Being in this country is turning you into a woman whom I didn’t marry. We need to get out of here soon.”
Well I was an independent person who was happy and perfectly capable of doing things by myself. I could live and travel alone and survived. At 21 I flew to a country I have never been before and knew very little about (there was no internet to do your research then) and didn’t know anyone. And I survived.
But since living here, somehow the outside world is beginning to be frightening to me. I needed to be chaperoned even when I go shopping or risked being harassed.
Just the other day I went to purchase some scarves with two other lady friends. And I really thought that the salesman was behaving inappropriately. Was it because our face was uncovered? Because we smiled? I was quite sure he wouldn’t behave that way if my hubby was around.
And what is most distressing for me, is that I am beginning to think that the rest of the world will behave that way. Just the thought of moving away was distressing to me. Oh dear what happened?
Is it true they say that once a bird lives in a cage, it will never fly away? Even if you leave the cage door open? As long as it is kept well fed?
Has living in a gilded cage clipped my wings?
Its been a very very long time since I drove. Don’t even know if I am still capable of driving! I am so comfortable wearing the ab@ya now that somehow the idea of not needing to wear one is too chaotic. (The result of wearing my nightgown underneath the abay@ for too long.) The last time I shopped for clothes for pleasure was in B@hrain and that was close to a year ago!
(Ok I did some handbag shopping here. And groceries. And quilting fabric.)
Perhaps it is time. Time for us to move on. Or at least, to get out and see the outside world a little bit. To see what the outside world is like. Full of colours and respect for women.
Bila oh bilakah?