Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Is it time for change?

Oleh katak yang dah lama di bawah tempurung mewah. Ribbit ribbit.

This summer marks my completion of my second year here. It’s only been two years but it feels like a whole lifetime to me. To my own surprise, I’m feeling very much at home in this city I used to loath. And the thought of moving is just daunting.

My beloved said something the other that stumped me.

“Being in this country is turning you into a woman whom I didn’t marry. We need to get out of here soon.”


Well I was an independent person who was happy and perfectly capable of doing things by myself. I could live and travel alone and survived. At 21 I flew to a country I have never been before and knew very little about (there was no internet to do your research then) and didn’t know anyone. And I survived.

But since living here, somehow the outside world is beginning to be frightening to me. I needed to be chaperoned even when I go shopping or risked being harassed.

Just the other day I went to purchase some scarves with two other lady friends. And I really thought that the salesman was behaving inappropriately. Was it because our face was uncovered? Because we smiled? I was quite sure he wouldn’t behave that way if my hubby was around.

And what is most distressing for me, is that I am beginning to think that the rest of the world will behave that way. Just the thought of moving away was distressing to me. Oh dear what happened?

Is it true they say that once a bird lives in a cage, it will never fly away? Even if you leave the cage door open? As long as it is kept well fed?

Has living in a gilded cage clipped my wings?

Its been a very very long time since I drove. Don’t even know if I am still capable of driving! I am so comfortable wearing the ab@ya now that somehow the idea of not needing to wear one is too chaotic. (The result of wearing my nightgown underneath the abay@ for too long.) The last time I shopped for clothes for pleasure was in B@hrain and that was close to a year ago!

(Ok I did some handbag shopping here. And groceries. And quilting fabric.)

Perhaps it is time. Time for us to move on. Or at least, to get out and see the outside world a little bit. To see what the outside world is like. Full of colours and respect for women.

Bila oh bilakah?


auntylela said...

Don't get shock to see the rough world outside after the gilded cage.

I only stayed for 1 and half months in Makkah, when i came back...i hate to see men with pants on.
you are laughing at me, no...i don't mean telanjang.
I mean i like to see those white jubah.

Dame RoSse said...

the ladies holidaying in temasek and malaysia looks comfy in their abay@. perhaps balik cuti nanti try lah yew...

born-again drama queen said...

madame, am going to dubai this friday 7 july..will be at sheraton jumeirah if you want to meet up..how do i give you my no?

ailin...in aalborg said...

hmm...I would not mind moving away from here. But I can't decide on which place would be better...

elisataufik said...

oh my gawd. just the other day I was thinking about blogging about what it takes for a woman to survive here in one piece.
You either have to be very strong and independent (able to do whatever and take all the harrasment), or be very weak and dependent (duduk rumah aje, tunggu husband bawak keluar).
People like us, who is somewhat in between, we either learn to retreat and become more submissive (to the world, i mean) or we have to learn to be more brave.
Hm.. dah tulis kat sini, buat apa blog about it anymore, eh?

Sunflora said...

KakLelaaa, Nasib baik Kaklela clarify.. kalau tak tentu saya salah faham ;) Tapi betulkan lepas berada kat sini percepsi kita mengenai dunia luar berubah.

PS KakLela tak belikan Pakkudaka Jubah ke untuk pakai waktu tido?

DameRosse, wahahahah we shall wait and see :)

Nef! Hey you are here! Email me at sunfloraa@gmail.com. *sigh* Dubai je ke?

Ailin, what are the choices for you?

Elisa, I think you should still blog about it. The idea may be the same but the point of view/perspective would be different.

atenah said...

i have faith that you will always be yr true self

auntylela said...

klela ada belikan jubah pak k kat madinah, sepasang aje....putih.
Pakai untuk raya nanti. Tak bolehlah pakai buat tidur, sayanglah.
Dia tidur pun tak berpakai apa2.