I have to admit when it comes to wanting new experiences, I'm a bottomless pit. I have this constant need to be trying new things, being it food, hobby, experiences, places and people. It has come as a surprise to me that I have been married for seven years now. Seven whole years and it felt that we only got married a month ago. Or maybe perhaps three months the most. (The first month was the hardest because we had to learn to live with each other.)
I attribute the reason why we're still together is because of his sense of adventure. And that he eats sashimi. It was an important criteria for me.
Last night I dreamed on getting on the plane again. It used to be that we spent a lot of time at airports and transit lounges. In my dream, I had this magic ticket, it was a round trip ticket, I would go out via London and come back via Canada. London, the city where I set up home three years ago. And Calgary, the city where I learned to be independent.
When making travel plans, we are always torn. Torn between going to new places, cities we never visited before and our favourite cities, places we have been and loved.
Perhaps subconsciously I knew that my previous experiences shape me and my perception of the world. Yet that world is drawing further apart for me. Decisions have to be made. Roots are forming. Age and responsibilities are catching up with us.
But I do know, when one door of oppurtunity closes, another would open. Allah is always fair.
I often ask myself, why do I have this thirst for adventure and quest for new things?
My mum passed on at age 49. She was coming to an age when she finally felt that she wanted to travel. But she was not accustomed to travelling alone.
"Each generation should aspire to achieve more than what the previous generation was able to achieve."
Somehow those words stayed with me over the years. Sometimes I wonder if I am compensating for her lack of travel. Its my way of making sure that my generation was better than hers, in that I get the mobility and independence which she didn't get as much. I went the places she wanted to go or perhaps never dreamt of going.
I know its all about predestination. But sometimes, there is a part of me that wonders. What if my time does run out tomorrow? Would I have led a full life? Have I done all the things that I wanted to do in my life time? I am not getting morbid. Its just that I recognize death as an inevitability. Its a certainty in life.
So I aspire to live my life everyday as if its the last day of my life.
Because I do not want to live (and die) with any regrets.