Friday, February 18, 2005

Love is just a drug - fabricate it

I was just reading this blog and somehow it made me ponder a little bit more about Love.

What is it about love that everyone seems to be looking for it?

Somehow the answer about love came to me in my 3rd year Psyc course. Love is merely the norepinephrine in our brain. Norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine are three brain chemicals that determine "that affect our ability to fall madly in love." Hightened activity of norepinephrine is associated with focused attention, elevated energy, motivation to win a reward (eg a woman's hand and/or her cherry), elation, obsessional following and object imprinting.

So the so called feeling of being in love is merely a drug induced stupor that our body produce to make us high. And like other drugs, albeit it being natural or man-manufactured, it can be addictive.

So why do we let this drug run and ruin our lives?

I blame it on popular media really. All the TV shows about love. Well actually I personally believe that it is about sex. But selling sex, although it is done, is somewhat vulgar. So they try to sell Love instead. Plus sex is still very much a taboo topic in many societies, even in the so called "open" socities.

What is it about sex that people seem to crave for it and it sells very well? Because it appeals to the penis? And somehow men are ruled by their penises? And what about the women? What's their stake in that?

Love for men is all about the sex, but for women on the other hand, its about being wanted. As a woman, I do feel good that I am wanted. And being wanted means I am being loved (which is not necessarily the same thing actually.)

All this sounds like I need to do a lot more research and reading and I have a feeling I can easily turn this into a thesis. (If not enough people have been writing about this already of course.)

I also recognize that men and women see love differently. As the saying goes, Men give love for sex, and women give sex for love. Sounds vulgar, cheap and unromantic. But thats the way it is.

For me, in a relationship, its not the "being in love" that makes a relationship work. Its commitment, loyalty, understanding and keeping each other happy that matters.

If all you look for is the feeling of being in love, then all you'll ever be is the hunter who never quits hunting. (And that supports another theory of psychology!)

No comments: