Yesterday

Yesterday was one of those days I felt like I was on the treadmill all day. The morning went on well enough, I sent The Little One to school. It started going wrong when a mother remarked, "Where are your shoes Little One?"

I looked at her feet and to my horror I forgot to put her shoes on! I am ashamed to confess that it wasn't the first time I sent her off to school without shoes. Somehow just getting her and myself out of the door becomes such a big thing and I kicked myself mentally for not preparing everything in advance the day before.

After I said goodbye to the kind mother, ushered The Little One into school I walked home as fast as I could to fetch her shoes. No wonder I missed them! The shoes were not on the shoe rack but apparently assumed a life of its own and walked itself under the dining table under the kitchen!

I must have thought the shoes were on her because it was not at its usual spot by the door!

So I dashed as fast as I could back to school and dashed as quickly back as possible. I was determined to sew this morning. I have 3 deadlines to meet. Err actually 4 now come to think of it and I don't seem to have enough hours in the day to sew. I used to be able to wake up in the middle of the night to sew but seemed to have lost all energy and slept like a log the past week. Even though my husband can vouch that I slept for the full 8 hours it felt like I slept for just 5 mins and suddenly night turned into day.

So I checked my emails. Answered whatever I could and then started sewing. Of course I am working on 4 projects simultaneously so I am spoilt for choice! I decided to work on my crumbs quilts then remembered that I may want to change my presentation and therefore need to prepare new props/display. Started looking at fabrics. Put the new fabrics I bought in the wash. Ironed those already washed to be filed away. And my alarm rang. It was 11:30am.

Since I am determined to try and feed my daughter better I decided I was going to cook for her vegetable congee. So I quickly cooked it up and ran over to her school to fetch her.

There goes my morning.

We decided that perhaps her good friend M may want to come over to play with my Little One. M's mum was saying that all M ever asks for is "Ami" her name for my Little One. So the kids played. First at M's place then at our place. It was almost 2:30 pm then and we decided that its time to put the Little Ones to bed fo their nap.

I took a short nap with The Little One, about 15 mins or so and woke up. Managed to creep away without her waking up, went to the PC, checked my emails. Saw a friend got online. Chatted with her for awhile. Realizing it was almost 4 pm I excused myself and went downstairs to start cooking dinner.

Managed to put the pan on the stove, brown some onions and guess who woke up? She was all cranky too! So there I was trying to pacify a child and cook at the same time! And then "dING dONG!" A neighbour came by!

It has to be one of those days! I looked at the clock and told myself its OK I have 1 hr to cook, chat, prepare myself and my things for the Guild. But conversation was so good the minutes flew by in a flash and before I knew it I got a call from the friend who I was getting a ride from and she had already left her house.

So I ran round like a headless chicken picking up bits here and there beating myself for not preparing all the stuff earlier. Called the gate for a golf cart, jumped in the car and off we went to the location.

Have to stop here now because I want to catch the Limo for a coffee morning.

Another day and another rush!

Name analysis

Thanks to Elisa, I too decided to plug in my name to see what the test generates:

What My Name Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

All I can say is the bits I highlighted above does decribe me to a T. I guess I am what my name makes of me?

They are predicting snow and I am stressed

Its freezing cold here! I took out my trusty winter jacket. I love him for letting me get the nice jacket last year. And it was still freezing under the jacket!

I still refuse to turn on the heater. I don't like heaters because they make me feel like I have a sore throat when I wake up in the morning.

For someone who loves cold weather to complain that its cold, you'd have to believe me its been cold. SO cold they are predicting snow! We shall wait and see.

+++++++++++++++++++

I am a bit stressed because of my prior commitment. I had volunteered my services to do a quilting demonstration. I have committed myself to the function and now I am having cold feet. I am beginning to second doubt myself. In fact I am undecided if I want to do a fence rail demonstration or hidden wells. Does it matter?

I need a board to put my demo up. I need to do a new worksheet.

Community spirit Joy? I think not. I was just suffering from temporary insanity when I offered and I was too proud to say errr I don't think I can do it anymore there after.

Also I am wrecking my brain with what I will demo on for the Guild. I like being in the company of quilters because I learn so much from the ladies! And its my turn to share with them, what I know. What do I know?

Stress!

I have 5 mins

She opened her eyes and uttered, " Sea, sand.... friend."

Were you dreaming of the beach darling? When you were playing with the sand?

We just came back from a short trip to D@ha, Q@tar. We spend Friday at The Four Seasons for brunch and a quick sit down at the private beach. Obviously the 30 mins we spent there had a great impression on The Little One. She had found 2 buckets and a spade by the seats and attacked the sand with such gusto, shovelling the sand into the buckets. When the buckets were full, she overturned them and started over again. It looked like it was so much fun that another girl decided to join her. She asked her mother in Arabic pointing to The Little One and I encouraged her to play.

I encouraged The Little One to share her bucket and spade.

Is that what you dreamed about darling? The friend you made at the beach in Doha?

I hope your life will be filled with more memorable moments.


**********************************
I have to salute those mothers with multiple children who handles motherhood like a breeze.

I however am trying to cram laundry, lunch, surfing and TV all in one go. Because The Little One is finally sleeping. She missed her nap yesterday and at the end of the day I was so exhausted, I slept at 9 pm. It doesn't help that I gave the help time off. How other mothers survive without help is just beyond me. Kudos to them.

The Little One's birthday is 4 days away and I have decided that this year we will not have a party. I am crap at organizing parties and at the end of the day she received so many toys, some of which I have begun to give away.

I have to say that I am so thankful for The Little One's fortune. She seems to receive gifts throughout the year and at this time of the year she gets the most fabulous gifts from friends and neighbours. I am truly grateful to them for their kind thoughts. I am amazed how many people think of and for her. I hope her good fortune will continue throughout her life, may she always be loved by everyone around her and may her life will always be in abundance.

OK so no party but as parents we have decided that we are on a mission to create happy childhood memories. That little brain is like a magic sponge now. She remembers too clearly the boat ride she took in Langkawi with Wan, Atuk, Umi, Abah, Kak Nayli, mummy, Daddy and Uncle Ajud. The boat ride was the best money we paid out for.

I know I have been digressing. Truth is I still don't know what to do!

Anyways plans are what we have for next year. How many will materialize? We'll see.

Ummi Happy?

On my journey of motherhood I sometimes encounter rocky roads but often time the joy of the journey surprises me out of no where.

I was trying to put The Little One down for a nap yesterday but it wasn't easy. Partly my fault really. I blame it on Mr Krispy Kreme. But anyways, as she was lying down beside me, I said, "You will be the happiest girl in the world and may your life always be filled with happiness."

The Little One with her bright eyes stopped suckling and asked me, "Ummi happy?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Abah happy?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Little One happy?" I asked her.

"Little One happy," she answered.

She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Does she really know what happy means or is she just emulating me? Can she really grasp the concept of happiness?

Over the past couple of months she has surprised me so much. She knows what she likes or not like with "Not nice." Or what she wants.

Many people have told me that she speaks well. But I didn't think it was extraordinary. According to the BabyCenter she is just right smack on top developmentally. But seriously some words that do come out does sometimes surprise me. It shouldn't really with all the reading and talking I have done with her. Its no different than watching my papaya tree grow in my backyard. I put the seed in the soil with great hope and when the seed grew into a tree, I was pleasantly surprised yet anxious that the tree will bear fruit. Not just any fruit but edible fruits.

So I have to tend both The Little One and papaya tree with great care. Not to pat my back too soon. And continue to persevere. On both good days and bad days.

I've been so busy the past month with my new career. Sometimes I feel I really have to make difficult choices, time for myself or time for my Little One. Do I send her out so I can work, sew, surf, read or do research? Or do I spend my time tending her, enriching her, showering her with love and attention.

I am so torn some days. Torn between my tendency to over commit myself and my desire to enrich my Little Ones's Life. I know its not necessarily one or the other but somedays it feels that way.

I haven't been able to quilt for the past 2 months now. I do miss it a lot and deadlines are looming. But here I am blogging again.

The past month has been so hectic for me and some days I feel I can hardly breathe. I do realize that I am so lucky to be this busy. Many in my shoes are languishing with boredom. Prioritizing became a priority for me. Some invites I had to decline. Some meetings I just cannot arrange and some emails I could not reply. Friends might just find me flaky but at least I am honest to myself. I must learn to decline more.

More importantly, I concentrate on things and people that make ME happy.

I want to remember, that yesterday The Little One, MY Little One asked me if I was happy. And I told her I was.

I am happy.

And Darlings you bring the joy in my life.

Thank you

I would like to thank my friends who took the effort to meet up with us when we were back for holidays. And I would like to apologize to those who we didn't get to meet. Time is such a precious commodity on such trips and this being Hari Raya meant we had to divide time between family, friends and relatives not to mention AM's enrichment classes and shopping!

But I have to say that I was very extremely touched by the splendid four who met up with us the night before we flew out. You know who you and and I lap yew! Seriously! Satay never tasted better! I thought I was so over with Satay Hj Samuri but the company made me hungry ;) Your entertaining stories plus the air kelapa was just so fabulous! It was so good to relive old times! Rasa macam zaman dating-dating dulu despite the sleeping child strapped to my chest.

I always feel guilty that I am horrible at keeping in touch. But you guys really are what friendship is all about. Not even time nor distance can break friendships. Sometimes I really do miss the good old days!

Yes I am back here to my "normal" life. Sometimes I am just too tired of making new friends or the need to conform. Hanging out with you made me feel so comfortable and so relieved that I can just be me, the old me.

Adoii mushy plaks ni! OK lain kali taun depan kita jumpa lagi ta kisahlah berempat atau berlapan :)

Thank you guys! I am so lucky I have friends like you!

Why do I commit myself to these things?

Here I am blogging when I am suppose to sew 13 tails. Tails? Yes Tails for some mice. Holiday mice. I have no idea where to start or how the tails will look like except it will be between 30 cm to 40 cm in length.

I actually feel somewhat pressured to do this right. I had a nightmare about it 2 days ago!

Why did I volunteer myself to this? I don't know! Apparently I have also volunteered to help set up a website to provide info about living in this city. On top of that I am suppose to update the Guild website which I haven't done. I have said that I will redesign the banner, again I have not done yet.

And I have to start sewing my Challenge quilt which is due in March. I have not touched my sewing machine since it failed to sew the other day. I spent 3 days looking for the manual.

I could start sewing The Little One's memory quilt project. I plan to use her old clothes to make them into a quilt. Maybe if I give up, I may just give those clothes away.

I could properly unpack and put the clothes away instead of chucking them at a corner.

I could declutter by packing away my old and unwanted clothes since I bought a whole bunch this trip.

Not to mention I am suppose to prepare lessons for my students next week. I have yet to find my hole puncher! Its been a week so I'm giving up. Will be buying a new hole puncher as soon as I can possibly drag HIM to the Mall. I so know that I am so going to find my old hole puncher as soon as I buy the new one!

And what do I do? I blog!

Sometimes I miss the other home

Its almost 2 weeks now since we came back and I have been so busy. I've started teaching again. At first reluctantly because I am somewhat rusty but somehow its all coming back to me now. It helps that the rate is pretty good. I do feel guilty when I have to send The Little One away though. All my other projects have come to a standstill because all my free time is spent searching for teaching materials.

Although we have just only came back, I cannot help feeling somewhat envious when I hear of friends and neighbors going away for the Dec holidays. I seem to remember all too clearly our holiday last year. But we are somewhat skint. I had too much fun during the last trip. It didn't help that the USD went to an all time low.

We will probably go away somewhere during the holidays. The plans are not yet confirmed.

Until then I will keep a hope upon hope and a wish that we would get free tickets home.

Whats the likelihood of that?

Obsessive?

Just to prove that some things have changed for me, my priority was to enroll The Little One into KinderMusik and Gymboree over visiting friends and shopping. I do like my friends and yes I miss them but some how it was very important for me that The Little One is stimulated with something different and enriching.

And boy was I so quickly rewarded. I could see the change in her. We went for a Kindermusik trial session today and she enjoyed herself very much and I was suitably impressed. The teacher was very engaging and each child had his/her own individual minutes with the teacher. The Little One did not stick to me like glue. She explored her environment and went forward to the teacher asking for the different equipment. Everything was so new and so different to her. She was truly exploring her environment. In fact I often had to call her to come back to me because she was so excited she wanted to stand in front of the teacher.

I must say that I am very pleased. So much so I have commited the remaining weekdays here to more sessions. I even signed up for membership and bought whatever curiculum they were willing to sell to me. I do look forward to have some sessions with her at home.

I am guessing she is missing her toys and books. She was really concentrating on the toys in Starbucks just now and even asked for a book which she happily read to herself.

Its days like these that often makes me wonder how worthwhile is it for us to stay there. But I do realize more than anything that we can afford whatever it is we're affording here because we live there. Although with the current currency exchange our spending power is quickly diminishing.

I forgot how incredibly expensive Singapore is until today. But we're having a blast! Thats the most important thing I guess.

Aidilfitri

I'm off to Malaysia and Singapore for Eid. Wishing everyone Eid Mubarak.

I would like to apologize for my short comings and may Allah bless us all to good days ahead.

Mothers Against Untrained Teachers I

When I thought that I would have more time for myself once The Little One is in school, boy was I so wrong!

Apparently at least 4 other mothers are upset with how the things are in school. I was invited to a meeting with them to discuss the school.

Because my Little One was crying so much the first two weeks, I had to spend some days with her there and could see how the school was run. Which made me quite angry really. Because what I saw was more of a babysitting service rather than a nursery. For AM's class there was no teacher, just two helpers. They spend the first 45 mins with freeplay with the toys downstairs. And then they are made to go upstairs to their "classrooms" which had proper tables and chairs. With AM's class they were given crayons to color, or puzzles to play with. There were about 4 object picture books in the class, no story books. And then there was "PE" where they were told to play and the Skate Park, an underground playground about 5 minutes walk away in then 42oC. What's the point in that when parents could themselves bring the children there after school? They should have water play or be making more crafts! Or even have a story read to them.

More alarmingly were the stories the other mothers were sharing with me. The boys were in 2 different "classes" then my Little One. They came home using the word "Stupid" either among themselves or their helper. Its a reflection the children have in school really. Either the teacher has used it on a child or have not stopped the children from using the word.

So we discuss our strategy on approaching the owner of the school. We have to make sure we are constructive. The owner, SH, has been described as a brick wall. Not a person normally associated with running a pre school. We would wish for someone with a lot more smiles, enthusiasm, passion for children and creativity. From what she tells us her background is teaching 11 grade science. So we listed some changes we would like to see, for example, we don't want the 2 year old children spending time in a classroom learning to write with a helper holding their hand and practically writing for them. Alphabet recognition is nice but not really necessary. Basically we want to see our children have more fun. Do more crafts. Read more. And improve their quality of play. Surely its not too much to ask?

Especially since we're paying a handsome sum for them to go there. It costs us $60 a day (in local currency) plus $500 registration fee. For the Little One who goes 3 times a week, it costs us $720 a month. For the children 2 and above who goes everyday, their parents pay $1,200 per child. Quite expensive for a babysitting service surely! Its about time we get some value for our money or we'll bring our business elsewhere!

There is a lack of flexibility in term's of a parent's choice in the nursery. For example, I had planned on sending my Little One just once a week and gradually increase her time there once she has settled in. But SH promptly told me that for her age group, its 3 times a week, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. There was no room for negotiation.

SO today is our third meeting. We decided to discuss our approach first before meeting her in the afternoon. Wish us luck! I will keep my thinking positive and I hope that SH will take our suggestions on board.

Failing which MAUT may come up with Plan B.

School week 3

After 9 days of being in nursery, The Little One is finally settling in. Slowly.

The school owner finally realized that she needed to be distracted with crafts or activities so that she would forget to cry.

Surely any trained early childhood education practitioner would have known that. But I have decided to keep my gripe about the school and its untrained staff separate from my quest to get The Little One used to the idea of going to school.

I am happy with her progress. DH who drops The Little One to school tells me she still cries when he leaves her. But at least I don't have to accompany her in school. The school owner says she cries on and off. She stops crying when its time they did some craft, even though they felt the craft activity may be too advance for her but she seemed to like it. Not surprising since we have been doing those activities at home.

I tried a combination of bribery (Ice cream for breakfast and cookies in her lunch box,) stickers as positive reinforcement and homeopathy and Bach flowers remedy. Pulsatilla seems to help ease the transition and Bach rescue remedy pastilles as a treat on her way to school. And prayers of course! Lots of prayers, morning, midmorning, day and night!

Already I have seen many changes in her. She is getting stronger physically, gaining better control of her motor skills. She can climb the stairs to the slide all by herself. She knows the difference between pull and push. One afternoon, while having lunch, she was making airplane noises while putting cookies in her mouth. I was surprised when she proclaimed, "Eplane!" to me.

While looking at pictures, she pointed "C!" to me. Then I realized that she is pointing to the sea. It was a picture that Elisa (or was it Taufik?) had taken for us in Kh0b@r with the background of the sea. How does she know these things? I guess she has been taking notes all along.

On the other hand she has perfected the art of fake crying. She does it to get my attention. Something that she didn't use so much. She sometimes give up a high pitch cry to get attention. Perhaps its something that she realize works in attracting attention. I have tried to ignore the behavior hoping that she would not be screaming so much.

She is constantly testing her boundaries. When I tell her that a behavior is unacceptable, trying out different variations to make sure that they are all not acceptable or if she could get away with anything at all.

She can ask for "Ice cream" quite clearly and "gogurt" (yogurt). Her current favorite food is "mush-room" and "bisket" (biscuit.)

I wish that the school would be more stimulating but unless trained staff are employed I don't think it would happen overnight. On the other hand, the opportunity for her to interact with other children some old and some younger than her is quite valuable. And that she understands that she could have some fun without mummy being beside her.

The only thing that makes me a little nervous is that in 2 weeks we're scheduled to go away for a month long holiday, and I hope we don't have to start the adjustment period all over again from scratch.

School week 2

Thank you Nina, MobileMom, AnaSalwa and Elisa for your words of encouragement.

And the status of nursery for week 2? Still weak.

I guess from the day we took The Little One home, we knew she could cry. A far cry really from the day she was born! The NICU matron told us that she could not cry. She did not cry when she was hungry or otherwise. The first time when she was taken out of her incubator and brought to my room, we were overjoyed to hear her cry. And there was no stopping her thereafter.

And cried she did at Nursery. Apparently there was no way of distracting her. Occasionally when she was not crying she would be asking for "susu" or "umi." I had to join her in school again on Sunday. She was doing very well when I was in the room with her. She could even play by herself at a quiet corner while I played with other children. That didn't bothered her. She was happy as long as I was in the room.

The teachers kept asking me if she was still breastfed. As I had read the thoughts of other mothers like me, who continue to breastfeed after our child is 1 year old, its an uncomfortable topic with people who didn't do the same. Somehow non breast feeding moms feel that this is a character flaw.

I told them that she can survive without milk and she doesn't really need it. She would be quite happy with the juice if offered to her.

Yesterday they didn't call me and I thought perhaps its a good idea to pick her up at 11:30 instead of 12:15. I thought she was doing much better.

But apparently not. They said they tried all sorts of things to make her stop crying including putting her in a room all by herself. She was told that she would be taken out only if she stopped crying. Do threats and intimidation really work?

I understand the benefits of time out. But an anxious child being punished?

The school owner also suggested that perhaps she could come to nursery for 5 days a week instead of three. They thought that perhaps the 4 days break is a too long. I talked to my friend and she felt 3 days a week was long enough. Afterall The Little One is only 20 months. 5 days a week, 4 hours a day is a lot of time being away from Mummy she felt.

How do I feel about all this? I do want her to go to Nursery because I feel its important for her to know that she can have fun without mummy. And that even when mummy goes away, she does come back. And that being independent can be a good thing. Reasons why I decided to send her to Nursery in the first place.

But I don't want her to get all traumatized or anything.

Aside from prayers, I am also trying alternative therapy to calm her down. I tried giving her homeopathic remedy, first chamomilla and today pulsatilla. I even put two drops of Bach Rescue remedy. We'll see how it pans out today.

I know that things may have to get worse before it gets better. I just don't want to break her. I really hope she learns to have fun in school.

In school

The Little One started going to the play group this week. I had planned to send her in November but decided to enroll her anyways last Wednesday. The class for her age group is scheduled for three times a week, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

I've been debating with myself with regards to sending her school for the longest time. This is my second attempt. Some of my neighbours do not feel the need for sending them to school this young, saying that their children are too young to learn anything.

Personally, I do not feel teaching the Little One is a problem for me. At 20 months she enjoys books very much. We read to her as often as we can and as often as she wants to. Well I have been reading to her since she was a month old and she's quite used to that. She understands the concept of counting, her favourite numbers are 3 and 9. And she understand my instructions to her perfectly.

So I chose to send her to school to be socialize. I do recognize that she is very dependent on my company. Some might even consider her clingy. Well, I did practice attachment parenting thus it is no wonder that she is very attached. Furthermore she is still breastfed, something which is a surprise to many people.

I felt that she needed to experience some fun without me. Her nanny goes take her out to the playpark in the afternoons, but I guess she still gets 1 on 1 attention then.

By sending to school I wanted her to learn some independence and acquire the skill to interact with other children without being under my shadow.

Did it work?

For the three days in school, I had to accompany her in class for the first and the third day. It felt like we took 1 step forward and 2 steps backwards. I understand that being the first and only child The Little One may take some time to adjust and get used to it. She was crying non stop the two days I was called back by the teacher to school.

I understand that its early days but at the same time, at the back of my mind I wondered if more could be done to make her experience better. I felt that there some things lacking in the school. It is rather new afterall and it is only the first day of school but with a registration fee of 500 bucks and the cost of 60 bucks a day am I wrong to expect something better?

Perhaps what makes me more critical is my background in education and my determination in educating myself in the different approaches towards early childhood education.

The school owner jokingly told The Little One that if she insist that I come with her everyday then perhaps the school would have to hire me. Frankly, I know I would be capable in handling the children. I have more than enough resources. (Note to self; I have to thank Atenah for some of her pointers.) But for me the whole idea of sending her to school is so that we can spend some time apart. So she could learn that its possible for her to do fun things without her mummy. And that I can finally have some time to myself. To sew perhaps. Or even to start my private teaching again.

In just three days I have seen some changes in her behavior. She has been more talkative. From what I have seen she is a very observant child. She would watch what other children are doing and would slowly imitate them. She can now do a fake-cry She can now climb the steps of the slide and lean forward down the slide all by herself.

That little brain of hers is like a sponge taking in everything.

I do hope that her school would improve. I hope the teachers would come up with novel ways to stimulate the children, failing which I would have to do it myself.

Ramadhan starts next week, we'll have to see how things turn out then.

Somedays

Somedays I ask myself why we are still here.

Then I ask myself why I didn't pack my bags and go off as soon as we had that chance.

On good days, we thought can stay here for a long long time.

On bad days, I yearn to move on.

I just have to remember to visualize that house we're going to build.

The Persian Queen

I guess I was dreading it so much that I took my time to bid her farewell. I didn't know that it would have affected me so, but it did. At the back of my mind, I knew that it was inevitable, that the day would come. Living this life, homes and friendships could be transient. People come and go in my life.

She was one of the first few people I got to know in the compound. The hermit and shy side of me didn't enjoy making new friends. I heard her telling another lady on the bus about her trip to Austri@ and the new sandals she got from there. I listened to her conversation and stayed silent. I didn't want to appear forward or nosy.

I don't exactly remember how or when but we began to hang out. She was very friendly, with a big heart. Perhaps she took pity on me, perhaps she enjoyed my company, I don't know. But she included me during her lunch meets and her walks. She often invited me to hang out with her in the evenings.

When I was in my dark moods and needed to stay isolated, she understood and respected that. When I was ready to come out, I was welcomed with open arms.

She was always the light of the party. There is a certain magnetism about her. Both men and women, even children flocked to her. She was kind, gracious and full of energy. I am always entertained by her stories. Stories about her childhood, about her grandma and about the different people she met or hung out with.

Her fearlessness inspired me. I remembered the day she desperately needed a puff. She stood outside the bus while a car filled with boys teased her, drove round and round the bus and calling her something. But she casually ignored them, not batting an eyelid, took her last drag and moved on. Undisturbed.

She could stand on her ground and yet accommodate those around her. A skill which not many could have.

Her diplomacy is unsurpassed. She tolerated those who continually harassed her.

As a friend she was always willing to help. With friends you meet on the road, you can never tell. Some just want to use you, and take advantage of you. But not her. She was one of those people who showed genuine generosity and consideration.

I often admire just how easily she hung out with all sorts of people of different ages, gender and background. Perhaps it is her gift.

To Negin, I wish you the best of luck! I know you will have loads of friends around you in no time at all because its just you. Know that you are loved and deeply missed.

Can I give up dairy products?

I have to confess that I am a big consumer of dairy products. As a student I used to buy the gallon size skim milk and drank it like I would water. Back home milk wasn't as delicious but I would still pay the premium for fresh milk.

And I haven't started telling you about Gold Top milk from the guernsey ad jersey cow! Boy their milk is just oh so creamy and I'm salivating as I'm writing this. And just half an hour ago I had strawberries with double cream. I love that stuff.

And cheese. What would life be like without cheese? No Muller?

So why this crazy talk about giving up dairy products? Well two sources I've heard so far are suggesting that I should give up milk products, one from a homeopathy standpoint and the other, from Skinny bitch. (Then again they also recommend going vegan. Yucks!)

Does this mean I will never be skinny?

My 18 month comprehends what goes around her

The Little One has been suffering from a high fever and on the fourth day we brought her to the Doctor. After a brief physical he prescribed an antibiotic shot and asked us to come back the following day for a checkup.

SO I brought her back to the hospital the following day and she OK at the waiting area. Once the nurse called out her name and ushered us to the weighing area The Little One started crying. I guess she remembered distinctly the nurse who administered her the shot the day before. I tried to calm her down and managed to do so in the room 4. But once the nurse ushered us to room 2, where she was examined the day prior she started bawling her eyes out and there was no way of consoling her!

As soon as the doctor entered the room she started to point to the door going, "There! There!" Obviously telling me that she wanted out!

So I told her, "AM you have to stop crying. We will leave this room after I finish the conversation with the doctor. I need to talk to the doctor and we will leave as soon as we finish." With that she calmed down a little bit.

So the doctor and I discussed a little bit. Since her fever did not return there was no need for a second injection. The Little One who was sobbing quietly suddenly got a little louder when she heard the word "INJECTION." I had to laugh there and then. I had to explain to the nurse and doctor that she understood "Injection."

So the Doctor obliged by saying, "OK NO injection today."

And the Little One stopped crying. She could even muster "Bye!" to the nurses on the way out!

I really have to be careful what I say and do because she understand everything perfectly and I attribute all this entirely to attachment parenting!

Update:
Unfortunately I found rashes on the front and back of her torso in the afternoon. There was none behind her ears. I guess we may have to pay the Doctor a visit again tomorrow. :(

Books, books, glorious books

It's been a long while since I posted anything. Even the previous post was done in such a hurry. I stumbled upon LibraryThing while surfing the other day and I was intrigued. I liked it so much that I decided to feature it on my blog. And then I was addicted. I slept at 2 am 2 days in a row trying to catalog my books. First I started with the books I have here, then the books I owned and liked a lot (thought I may not remember where they are now.)

Problem with moving so much is that I have different things everywhere. And most of all I miss my books. I've been scratching my head to remember the tittle and author of a book I read back in the UK 5 years ago about this guy who arrived in the UK as an asylum seeker and his experiences. I remembered that I looked up the author and he was a lecturer of one of the Universities. I almost wanted to write to him to tell him how much I enjoyed his book but was too shy. The first chapter of the book was about the main character not speaking.

OK I have a screaming child who detest me spending time at the pc.

Meme for Charity

Ghazali tagged me, a meme that began with Idham

The rules are as follows:
If you are tagged, you need to write an entry related to the meme. At the end of your entry you just need to tag as many person as you like. You will then leave a comment in their blog to let them know they have been tagged. And to include this message, "By doing this meme you are contributing rm127 to the Darul Izzah Orphanage".
Then please copy and paste this rule somewhere in your entry.

The meme is about completing at least seventeen out of the following twenty seven sentences........ *These can be copied and pasted to your entry*

1. A person is only as good as his/her word.

2. Friendship is always about being able to understand and respect one another .

3. To love is to share the good times and the bad times.

4. Money makes me live comfortably.

5. I miss being able to travel more.

6. My way of saying I care is by contributing what I can.

7. I try to spread love and happiness by caring.

8. Pick the flowers when they are in full bloom.

9. To love someone is to let them grow.

10. Beauty is in the heart.

11. When I was thirteen, what I remember the most was the nerdy glasses I wore and the new friends I had to make at my new school.

12. When I was twenty one, I remember arriving in Canada alone, not knowing the place or anyone and the new world I saw with my own eyes.

13. I am most happy when I am travelling.

14. Nothing makes me happier than hearing my child's laugh and my beloved saying "I love you." (But something sparkly from a blue box with white ribbon makes me happy too.)

15. If I can change one thing, I will change airport security.

16. If smiles were gold then I'd be a goldsmith.

17. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all live together in peace.

18. If you want to achieve anything then you have to work hard and send good thoughts.

19. Money is not everything but it helps you to live comfortably.

20. The most touching moments I have experienced is when my child says I Love you to me and comes to me and kiss me..

21. I smile when I am happy.

22. When I am happy, I am on top of the world.

23. If only I don't have to be responsible, then I can go parapenting.

24. The best thing I did yesterday was spend quality time with my family.

25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title,"Traveller's Tales"

26. One thing I must do before I die is to climb the wall of China.

27. Doing this meme, I feel like I need to pee! Help I've been trying to finish this before Am wakes up!


The Bloggers I am tagging are:

1) Elisa Taufik
2)Leen-Ashburn
3)MedameRosse